Day 71 : Having a Good Time!

Sometimes there comes a day when you feel like things are just a bit to weird. Well weirder that usual at least. Most of our time we spend walking around like a tin soldier. We only go to bed at night to key back again, only to wake up the next day and repeat the same BS all over again. Our days become inexplicably merged together. All of it goes by so fast, and of so little consequence that soon begin to wonder if the last year did happen at all. Or did the universe just skip a few months and the people in it are just in on the prank. Everyone is just playing a trick on you. Or maybe just soon you will wake up one day an all of this will be just a half-remembered dream.

There are times when some guy comes up to me and says, 'remember that we did that thing', and I want to bash his stupid face in. Because I do not remember the first thing of what he is saying. And what sucks more is when the story he is describing is such a laugh riot, and you did play a part in it. And by the looks of it, you would've really enjoyed it a lot. But heck if you remember even bit of any of it. This sucks. You are always complaining that you seem to be having a very monotonous life and nothing of any excitement has been happening anymore. Then you begin to realize that things do happen. You really do not change. People around you do not really change. The way you react with them, do not really change. What mostly happens is that the good times do not register as often into your brain as it used to earlier.

You see, as you progress with your life your expectation and definition of what 'having a good time' means gets blown way out of proportion. You think having a good time means, getting wasted on the deck of a cruise ship with pretty girls and blue ocean all around you. How often does that happen anyway? Not all of can be Jordan Belfort from The Wolf of Wall Street. And also the truth is you don't really need to own a 100K yacht to enjoy yourself. At least you never really needed them in the past did you? You always had a rowdy ol' time with your friends and colleagues. What has changed? Have you become boring now? Don't people include you in their funcapades anymore?

Not true. As far you know you are not missing out on any exciting nights happening around you. Maybe you are just getting old, and so are the people around you. Maybe what people you know do for having fun has changed as well. Maybe getting wasted is not a big priority for them anymore. And anyways, you never got high on anything earlier either did you, so why should it matter now? Even now you can get people to enjoy themselves, go out of their way to feel the moment. And isn't what having a good time is all about. To actually stop the constant monologue going on inside your head, and see/hear/feel of whatever you are doing or wherever you are doing it. Really, just noticing your life at any instance of time makes it memorable.

Make memories. It is much cheaper to do than you'd think.

Day 70 : Who are you?

Most of the time when someone comes up to a stranger and asks who he/she was; the usual reply is that the person is an accountant, banker, journalist, engineer or something. Is that what we all are? Is that how we see ourselves? When come to think of our own existence do we all define this life of ours by what we do?

Maybe that's kind of obvious, maybe that would be how everyone'd define their lives. Though I think that is only because we are all now so habitual to taking the easy way out. We really hate raking our brains for anything these days. Any thought or feeling that cannot be tweeted out in 140 characters is not worth the effort. After all what do we really do in this day and age just for the sake of enjoying it and not for getting the maximum likes and re-tweets in social media?

Yes. The easiest answer to "Who am I?" is your job. That thing that you do to earn your living. And never really thought much of in the first place.

We all hate being put on the spot. Having to think of an answer to a question that can be so ambiguous and ambitious at the same time, is a big responsibility for our timid brains. It clearly is not equip to handle such sort of heavy digging. And even if we do chisel out a seemingly perfect answer for the question, who is to say that would be the end of it. Any conversation can go any which way based on this one question.

The social media sites have also caught on with this dilemma I suppose. Everyone wants to know "What's happening?" or "What's on your mind?" or "Tell me about yourself" We are all so constantly expected to able to churn out smart charming witty lines that soon we begin to filter and measure out everything that we say and do. And that seeps into our thought process. I don't think any of us really have had and original, personal idea in ages. What we think, and what we perceive of the world around is simply force-fed to us by the System. Yes, that does sound very Mr Robot-ish. But then, isn't that the truth?

I'd like for us to really change the way we think, act, and carry ourselves. We really need to have a personality that is of ourselves, and not a strange mixture of the people we admire or the see in the many screens of our devices. We do have a persona or character. Now that must have been buried under all the layers of BS we carry around each day, but trust me it is there. All we have to do is just really roll up our sleeves and go out have experiences. The more see, and do, and feel the more we learn about ourselves than anything or anyone else.

No one wants to know your job titles, except if you're looking for a job. Next time when someone asks, "who are you?" for Pete’s sake, just tell them your name and say that you read or fart or something.

FSociety.

Day 55 : Lie and Bullsh*t Continuum

Life today is like a bunch of back to back totally made-up stories of grandeur with intermittent sprinkle of cheating and pizza. We spend a lot of time inside our own made up universe, so that the outside world doesn't seem too real and disappointing to us. Inside our heads we are chic and cool, speak all big smart words, walk confidently and smell delicious. While the truth is half the words you say cannot be understood by anyone, and you walk like Cramer in Seinfeld, and you smell too much like a funeral home with all that perfume you drowned yourself in to cover the stench of sweat. People sweat a lot more than they think they do!

Every time you open your Facebook or Twitter or WhatsApp, you will find a bunch of pictures of people travelling to exotic places, throwing big parties, wishing each others on engagements or a big promotion. Then you also join in with the other cattle and 'moo' in your congratulatory words. All the while, you gossip with the person standing next to you (or the voice inside of your head) how the person who got that promotion had an affair with his/her boss. Or how the person who's been travelling to all those exotic places has a drug problem. Or how that colleague who is throwing a big party, for which you were not invited, is gay.

All that stories you yourself heard from somewhere may or may not be true. And frankly, you wouldn't give a damn either way, because lying has become such a part of our daily routine that we tend to unquestioningly consume every story about everyone. The more controversial they are, the more it spreads within the masses. We have grown to enjoy scandalizing everyone's life so much that there are some people who actually feel disappointed when they find that there aren't many stories been circulating about them of late. They begin to feel like they have let themselves down.

That's the part that I do not get. When did we all begin to worry so much of the stories that people perceive about us. Oh, you bought a new tank top? Please do take a picture of you in it and share with the 1000-odd strangers you have on your Facebook, and the couple of future stalker pervert you added unknowingly because they had mutual friends with you.

It is not only the girls that confuse me. Historically this idea of a "Man" has been to keep his feelings locked inside, and just flex his biceps and grunt his way through life. The more emotionally available and mysterious a guy is more appealing he is to the female crowd. Now, I see Twitter being used like a shrink's couch where every single guy just feels compelled to push his innermost feelings and thoughts about every single thing on this planet. No matter how inappropriately creepy or offensive they may be.

Our lying in social media is like a gateway drug for our real one. The way we portray ourselves in the Facebook, bleeds into our social like with real-life human beings. Questions like 'You seemed so smart and articulate, how come you are such a dork in real life?’ are much more common these days.

You are not what you show yourself to be in there. You cannot pack your dog poop in glitter paper and sell it to people as Sneaker bars. It just doesn't work that way. You are what you are, weird pithy and unique. Just like the 8 billion other people on this planet. You are not going to change yourself just by putting up and allowing yourself to be tagged in only the good posts in social media. Just like the billions of other people on that site.

You are never going to be all that grand in real life. But that does in no way mean that
the ordinary you are any less special.

Stop lying. Stop bullsh*tting.

Be good. That's all that counts.
 

Day 49 : Pain and Sorrow

I have immense respect for sorrow. It is in my opinion the only honest feeling that we as a specie are really capable of feeling. Love. Anger. Hatred. Fear. Those are all just our reaction to the things that happen to us. Sorrow, I feel is something that comes from a more deeper core of our being.

We cannot see or sense sorrow. There is surely no way to measure someone's sorrow. It is not a quantifiable thing. Very much like any other feeling I suppose. But unlike those other feelings. Sorrow is something that can hit you anytime. At any place. For any reason. For love or fear or anger. There mostly has to be something to kick it off. For the pain of this heart-wrenching sorrow - you do not need a catalyst.

You could be out there driving alone in your car. Or by grocery at your local market. Or just innocently commuting to work. Like the hundreds of people around you. But all of a sudden, out of nowhere, comes this sudden feeling somewhere deep within you. You feel like your breath is snatched out of you. This thought comes pounding at your chest like a fifty pound hammer on a anvil, you feel your heart shudder at its each jolt. The thought that you are all alone.

You may have the most adoring family, a big group of fun friends and colleagues, but when you come to think of it. You are really all alone on this planet. And no matter how many people you surround yourself with. You always feel alone. You came alone to this planet, and that is exactly how you will leave.

When this feeling comes nagging at you, you see that your hand automatically goes to your mobile phone. Wonderful thing technology is, one click and one broadcasted 'Hi' later you are suddenly in conversation with fifty different people. Lo and behold, you are not alone anymore. Do not do that.

You should take your finger off of you mobile screens. Put your cellphone back into your pocket. And let the sorrow wash over you. Let it cleanse you. Feel its steely claws squeezing your guts trying to pull you innards out. Feel yourself getting light headed and dizzy with this feeling of emptiness. But you won't, this feeling passes. So will the pain. Soon you will feel your heart beating at a normal rate. And you will be able to get on with whatever it was that you were doing.

You see, pain is not that bad a thing. Pain and sorrow are sort of the only thing that teach us more about the real us than any of those other feelings can even hope to. Bask in the sadness in all of is bleak glory. They will only help you become the stronger, more feeling being that you want to be. It is the only way you can begin to understand and empathize with what the people around you are going through. And that is in turn the only way for you to start feeling a tad less alone for a change.

Because when we are capable to feel more, we welcome more people into our lives. And then only are we capable to be truly happy.

"Pain deserves to be felt"...

Today, don't shy away from yourself. Feel it all.

Day 37 : Love Each Other. Consensually.

Today's work goes here - Love Each Other. Consensually.

dnaindia.com

Day 34 : Look Up From Your Mobile Screens

My daily commute to work my favorite part of the day.

I travel by train for thirty minutes to reach office. There is a lot disruptive internet connection along the way so I turn off the mobile data. This in turn gives me half an hour of social media black hole. No Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, more importantly no WhatsApp. Darn there are way too many groups and people online everywhere, leading to a bunch of useless notifications propping every few seconds. And as much as I try not to, I do end up unlocking and checking the notifications out of habit to see if anything has come up in my direction. For me it has become like a second nature now. It’s a disease.

There was this really awesome video on this - 'Look Up.' A spoken word film for an online generation

This was a hard hitting video on how our online presence in social media is damaging this generation's interpersonal skills. Inevitable went on to become viral in YouTube, Facebook and all the other social networking sites. The sites that played villain in this film. Humph, ironic.

Anyways, coming back to talk about today's train ride. I was as usual sitting there with a song (Rahman’s) blasting away in my earplugs, idly watching out the window to the buildings and roads running past by the railroad tracks. Soon got bored of it, and turned my head into the compartment for another of my favorite daytime pastime; people watching.

Almost everyone in the train had the earplugs on. Almost everyone had their heads bowed down in utmost reverence to the little rectangular idol spurting light and words like LOL and ROFL and GFY. Some people I could see were mating little images of candies to each other on their Candy Crush apps, quite obsessively. Some were watching TV shows or movies on their mobiles, which I personally feel is a grave insult movies were not made to be watched on such a small screen.

The crowd that made me feel most uneasy was a bunch of college kids. There were nine of them. I could easily make out that four of them were a thing, as in GF/BF, and then there were three other guys and two girls who by their looks of uncomforted were naturally the third wheels of this group.

The thing that made me uneasy was not disparity in their amorous equality; it was their lack of attention to each other. The third wheels naturally were doing something of their own to occupy their time. This mostly should include pulling each other’s legs, especially the couples, raunchy jests at their professor’s expense, the like. But here, they were all also bowed down to their mobile screens. Yes, there was always someone saying something and the rest listening or at least pretending to. I am sure no one had any idea what the whole conversation was about.

The couples were no better, one pair had a girl who was shopping for something on the Flipkart app while the guy who had been trying to say something to her, soon gave up and plugged his earpiece and started watching out the window. In the whole group the other couple were the only people that showed some potential, sure they played that Surfer game for a bit but at least they were doing it together.

Now I think I hated seeing them. Their lack of friendship. I'd like to think that it was just one of those days when they all had something to do than spend time with each other. But when I sit and think of the things that they felt were so important than spending time with each other, I feel queasy. Come on, you can always play that stupid game when you’re alone. Is it that important to do it right now?!

I don’t think I have any right to accuse them of anything when I’ve done that so many times myself, especially at home when there is a stupid movie going on. Movie watching has always been the family-time in my household. I sort of see it slipping away.

I believe Gary Turk did mean something by that video. I think we are all going down a very troublesome road.

Today, I plan to shut off the notifications on my mobile. And hope to keep my hands off of it more each day.

Day 33 - To All The Pricks Of The Planet

I've always seen happiness as the thing that is supposed to enrich our standard of living. When we are cheerful it rubs off on the people around us. We treat them with more warmth and compassion, we have more affection to go around and we always have a kind word for everyone one. Our world is one big happy family.

Then there are those have a different world around them. My assumption is these are the ones who have this inane desire to be a jerk. The ones who are simply not having a happy life or are so not content with their own lives they take it upon themselves to spread the gloom around them. They not only whine about how they have it bad in every which way, but also are in a constant state of crap-mouth. They will put you down, treat you like dirt, and take every opportunity to point out your faults.

They think that by doing this they accomplish something. While honestly it kind of is the exact opposite of that. By doing all this they are just alienating the people around them. People are one of the basic ingredients for happiness. Shoveling themselves into a corner hole, from which there is no coming out just more depth of wallowing, they are just ensuring they never ever find happiness in their life at all.

I wish sometimes I could take these people by the shoulders and give them big a mighty shake. Dude, chill! You're going stroke yourself into an early grave if you keep going down this road. Be a little more gentle with the people around you. Sure you're not obligated to, but you surely are expected to be human once in a while. You are still human, aren’t you?

Being a crude, brash person is alright; I am one. But being a crude, brash person; with the sole intention to harm someone is not really a good thing. You are just showing the world how diminutive you hold your own self worth by having to pull down other people to your level to feel good about yourself.

Help people up, it will only heighten your place in the world. Putting people down, will only lead to gradually dragging yourself down.

Be good, my friend. As overrated as it seems, goodness does have its advantages. If nothing, there is an instant feeling of cheerful accomplishment in it. That’s not it. Well I wouldn't know how to exactly describe it, hope you try it some time and experience it for yourself.

As for others..

Today, have some sympathy and understanding for the pricks of the planet. They need help.

Day 32 : Goodness v/s Hal 9000

Of late I've become more conscious of the concentration Sci-Fi genre in pop culture. It always there yes, but mainly was cornered in a handful of bookshelves in a niche store. Now they are mainstream - Interstellar to name recent entry to this category – and encouraging a lot more cerebral discussions over the whole final frontier adventures. 

Science fiction consists of spaceships, astronauts, unknown planets in strange galaxies habituated with people who are in a lot many ways different from us. In the earlier works, I've only read a few I confess, mostly contained the alien race having limbs and bodies like ours; only they were infinitely advanced than us both psychologically and technologically. The later works, Avatar as an example, brought the hive-mind, or specie made of light or specie that is pure oxygen with no limbs as such. All these beings are a strong race and we were the weaker ones. They were the dominant ones, we were either subservient or defiant. In some books that started off all lovey-dovey between the races, the our tendency of greed and manipulation comes into action and thus spoil all the fun for the rest of mankind. There inevitably is a war in almost all of these books.

This movie still gives me the goosebumps

But there is also one thing common in these books. Our belief for the unknown, and our distrust in our own self. We are so convinced of the evil in each human being that writing a book without it showing up is a treason of sorts. There is always a character like Matt Damon's, or the Hal 9000, who comes in with an animalistic hunger for survival or the old familiar combination of greed and ego an causes the cause the conflicts in the story. Goes to show how much high regard he hold for our own specie.

This guy slyly lays out his master plan, the hero plays right into his trap, there is a grand battle between them, the villain almost wins and starts his victory speech; without his knowing that the hero is back on his feet and ready to kick his butt to smithereens. Happens every time. Most often the thing that gives strength to the hero is also something that is essentially a humane trait - like friendship, courage, love, faith, kindness.

You see, no matter how many times these books or movies bash humanity for its pithy ego, greed, spite and lechery; they always come back to our own basic emotions to be named as the savior of the day. Because in the end, we all want to believe that the good in us will conquer all evil. No matter how tough the urge is do harm, our tendency to care for our fellow brethren will overcome. 

I believe this faith that we have in each other is one the main reasons that we have survived for as long as we have on this planet. There have been innumerable evil and vile tragedies around the world, still happening, but our capacity to care for each other has helped us through it all. A few bad apples did not make the whole basket rotten.

Today, "Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart."

Day 31 : Secret To Get Rid Of The Blues : Beaches

Today was sort of depressing. Not a lot matters to a person, who has for a long while who's considered himself a lost cause. And being around someone so down in the gutters, can make anyone feel very glum about life.

I have always been strong on the belief that we as specie have only been able to reach the point of greatness that we are in by doing extraordinary things with the things that nature has bestowed upon us. I mean look at us, we are not as strong as a bear, nor are we as fast as a wild cat. But still we are at the top of the food chain while others are barely surviving in the endangered species list. I don't suppose that's any individual's point to brag about, but still I think there is a lesson to be learned there.

We have immense capacity for greatness. Even if that greatness is not Aristotle or Da Vinci or Genghis Khan type of greatness but awesome nonetheless. We all were such a puny slimy thing when born. And look at us now; we each have a mind of our own and persona to boot. We are all our own creations, we should be really proud of ourselves.

Instead, we spend a large part of our lives whining about little things that we find not so pleasing about our lives. We feel so insecure about ourselves that we compare our lives and ourselves to everyone around us. When see one of friend's pictures partying in Bangkok, we say why not me? When we see updates of them going out with someone hot, we say why not me? When we see them getting promoted, we say why not me? When we see them winning awards or getting to travel overseas for work, we say why not me? I don't know, I suppose we do seem a little like Samwell Tarly. Forever self-depreciating.

But when we sit and think about it, aren't we being a bit tunnel sighted. I mean sure that guy is dating a hot chick, did you stop to think maybe he is also being cheated on? Sure that guy is travelling abroad; maybe that guy has had to leave behind his newborn child behind because of it. Sure that guy is partying in Thailand; maybe that guy lost lot money doing that. You see, there is another side to every news feed. Not everything that appears on your Facebook is gospel. Sit and think about it. Do you think you're life is any less glorious than any of them just because of lesser events or glossy pictures to show off?

You cannot measure your life with moments that are breathtaking and joyous. Nor can we indict it, based on the moments that hurt you or made you weep. Cumulatively, our lives are much bigger than these moments. And it is our responsibility to recognize that respect its grandeur. We are not handicapped by a few setbacks, nor are we empowered by a handful of good fortune.

When you feel you are going through a spree of screw-up. Take a break. Go to the beach; take a lungful of the warm stuffy air. Take a gander at the wide ocean spread out in front of you. See the sky high above, higher than any of the dreams and hopes you've set for yourself. Feel the small grains of sand between your toes. Feel your own self in the grand scale of things. See how tiny you are? Now imagine how puny your troubles really are.

You don't feel too intimidated by them now, do you?

We all go through rough patches of luck in life. It is inevitable. But while going through them, we must always remember that these are also the times when a man discovers his true potential.

So instead of whining and complaining, and give everyone around you the blues. Start being your optimistic, and give yourself a pat in the back for surviving so far in the fight.

Today, go to the beach.

Day 30 : Good Things Come To Those Who Wait For It.

When we were kids we were repeatedly preached that the best things in life come to those who work for it.

Then we came to learn, there are not many things in life that can be titled as "best". Even what we think is the best right now, might get replaced something shinier and attractive somewhere down the line. The "best" thing is only so perfect for us until it is the only thing that holds our attention, once something more interesting comes into our lives these things lose their glitter. And so - out of sight, out of mind.

Next we came to learn, there are a lot many things in life that won't be coming your way no matter how much you toil for it. Some things are simply always out of our reach. It stays dangling there like a carrot in front of a rabbit, and we are destined to eternally race towards it. We'd be so much better off not dreaming about these things, no matter how desirable they may be. Because more sorrow is caused by these things that we desire, than those that we deserve.

This should be a good point as any to insert my take on this:

Good things come to those who wait for it.

There is nothing more important in a person's life than having that feeling at least once in their lifetime that they've finally accomplished something worthwhile in their life. I think that is what we all live for, to die knowing that when we finally shed our mortal coil, we leave behind something for our fellow men to remember us by. Nobody likes to be forgotten.

But when you come to think of it, there are around 7.3 Billion people on this planet right now. There must have been probably a similar number of people passed through this planet since the dawn of time. How many names of these people do you know? Okay to make it more practical, let's assign each person on this planet to write down all the people they could think of, historical, blood relatives, that-guy-who-brought-the-milk, anyone. Do you think if we combined this humongous list together we would be able to find every man or woman, or others, ever lived on this planet?

Probably not.

So what is the point? What is the whole point of your planning, backstabbing, scheming and conniving your way into the history books? What is the whole point of competing with the guy next to you to achieve that something that given time would be easily forgotten?

Sure you will be remembered today, tomorrow, even for a couple of dozen years after you die. Does that really mean that much a big of an accomplishment?

I don't know. I think the best that we can hope for is do good by the people around us - the people whose lives matter to us and to whom our lives really do matter. During our own frigging lifetimes. Once I do pass away, I don't think I will really know if someone spells my name wrong, or if someone spreads the rumor that I listened to Justin Bieber. Frankly my dear, I don't think I would give a damn.

Our lives are really quite amazing. And if you are reading this, it would be safe to assume that you earn enough to have a computer or mobile phone with Internet access. There are people much worse than you. Yes, like people who do not have a Facebook account. So be grateful that you have a better life.

Instead of complaining and whining all day about not having that special thing that you worked so hard for such a long time; why don't you take your folks out for a dinner tonight? Or simply order in a Pizza, rent a movie and veg out in front of the television with you arms around a loved one. In the end, these are the only people who are going to think of you the longest and remember you for what you truly are. Love them, and cherish them with all your heart. They matter.

Today, make plans for doing something special. And actually do it.

Day 29 : The World's Top Earning Authors

Okay. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a bookworm. I love reading them, preserving them, researching them, nitpicking them, annihilating them, sleeping with/on/beside them, forcing others to read them. By extension, I've always had a love-hate relationship with the people who write them.

So, each year I Google for the writers who have made it big the previous year; mostly out of curiosity to see if my favorite ones, and partly out of jealousy and spite. The World's Top Earning Authors

2014 didn't surprise me much. This year as well the big bucks went to young-adult writers, long-standing crime series writers and creators of romance sagas. In other words Janet Evanovich, James Patterson, Nora Roberts. Sure there are still mentions of Dan Brown, John Grisham, Danielle Steel in the list; which is not so surprising knowing that they've written so many books so far that some are bound to sell in some corners of the world. Take Steel for example, 120 books, mostly romance sagas so it's bound to earn her some moola as long as there are teen girls dreaming of their prince charming. Same applies to Nora Roberts with her 145 romances. With the sheer number of tomes with their names/copyrights on it, they are bound to earn their keep each year even if the sit at home twiddling their thumbs all day.

The list also had Stephen King, who’s Doctor Sleep a sequel to The Shining released in late 2013 so he had earnings coming in from there through into 2014 from his die-hard fans (me included) who'd just gobble up anything his pen outputs. Same goes with J K Rowling, who had two releases in the Cormoran Strike series under the penname Robert Galbraith. The only reason we've helped her earn her paycheck, is because of her past wonderful magical works. I've only read the Cuckoo's Calling so far, umm it's alright, but then you cannot always expect her to churn out another character like Potter.

The real surprise entries in this year's list were Veronica Roth and Jeff Kinney.

Kinney writes the Wimpy Kid series which has been a huge success and has been made into a successful movie series. So as is the trend off late - if you get a movie based on your book, in comes the millions!

Next comes Roth, she's also 26 like yours truly, only she's 17 million dollars richer. She's the writer of the Divergent series, another YA fantasy/action trilogy much like Hunger Games. I've not read the book yet, but according to what I've heard about it's supposed be pretty addictive. There's also a movie based on this book starring Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort, if that is not a recipe for teenager hit I don't know what is. In Wiki it says, it earned more that 150% for its budget in profits, so maybe my assumption is right even if the actors are playing brother and sister in this movie and not the star crossed cancer-patient lovers they were in FIOS. Another movie based on a book, who’s author also shows up in this list.

Plus, she is cute!

Each year, I read this list and each year I wonder. How do they do it? These are the people who have made it big doing what they love doing. Sure their quality of writing may differ (E L James = yuck!), or selling out to marketing hacks for higher profits (Collins), but despite all that they have earned enough to spend the rest of their days basking in the fame and frolicking in the riches. Some even are capable of using all that down time to hone their skills, and produce better their literary output in their later years (Wilbur Smith - "Desert God").

I have immense respect to any man or woman who is able to do something they love, create something out of thin air, and earn money for doing that each day for the rest of their lives. To these people each day is an adventure, not the ponderous torture chamber that it is for the rest of the 9-to-5 masses. That is why I am so jealous of Anthony Bourdain. He gets the big money to travel all over the world, eat delicacies and spout swear-words on camera.

These guys have actually figured it all out. But what is that exactly?

Today, I think I am going spend the day pouting and pondering.

Day 26 : The Random Guy On The Road

There is this one guy I came across recently. I don't remember the guy's name but he really was quite unique. His whole appearance was.

He looked like someone out of a Sergio Leone movie. He had deep face lines, strong sharp jaw, deep set eyes, a tight lip crease, his ears were sharp and upwards like his nose, a week’s stubble covered his face, he had a slender physique with a taut back, his arms were tanned and with callous hands and thick fingers. The look he gave you was piercing and openly challenging.

He wore tattered dirty shirt with sweat stains with seams that were too dark of dust and of wearing too long. He wore faded jeans, which probably weren't faded while store bought, the hems were torn and threadbare.

He spoke zero Hindi or very little of any other language I understood. He spoke some dialect of Gujarati I barely could comprehend. All I could decipher was that he was travelling to his hometown back from selling some garment clothes. At least that’s what I thought his sign language meant.

The reason I even got around to talking to this guy was because I was staring at his knuckles a bit too long and he began to feel uncomfortable and came at me. How was I to help myself? It was such a sight to behold. I asked him about what he did; he tried to communicate his profession to me in broken Gujarati, all I understood that he was a laborer of some sort, not the skilled kind I'd guess. That explained his physique. He was built like an ox.

Damn how I wish I had taken a picture of him.

This guy would have been some painter's or sculptors or photographer's vision a salt-of-the-earth guy. Like John Wayne or a less toothy Eli Wallace maybe. Yeah well, maybe Anurag Kashyap finds him to be the next Nawazuddin.

Today, I will think of that face while I see “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance”.

Day 18 - 25 : Old Friend's Wedding

Ah. Where shall I begin?!

This past week was so freaking amazing. Visited Gujarat after ages. And darn was it AWESOME!

Nothing compares to the feeling of belonging when you are with old friends. It's almost like coming home. The same old familiar jokes, same old familiar stories, and the usual banter and pushes and shoves. And if these friends happen to be of your college times, you can be guaranteed that things are going to be all the more eventful.

I remember one of my uncles’ say how the best times he had ever had and the best friends he had ever made were of when in college. Back then I was in high school and I sniggered at him thinking how I'd had the best gang of mates while in school and nothing would beat roaming around town with them in a borrowed cycle.

The wedding I was to attend was of a pair that had met in college and have been together ever since. So this wedding also was a special one. More of the old faces were compelled to make an appearance like me. The more the merrier.

When I looked around the dinner table when all of us were seated. I could see how we all were now in a very different place in our lives than how we were in college. A few of us married for a while now, a couple just newly married, no children as of now; but then that could change anytime as well. A few new marriages in the pipeline, by the year's end exactly half of my original group would be married. And why shouldn't it be so, after all it is nearly five years since we left college.

Damn. That’s a long time.

But I still feel overtly nostalgic about those times. We all do. We still recall the midnight card games, junk food, assignment completions. We all go gushy over the times when one of us got the kick by a girl, or when one of us actually got to go out with one. We all laugh of the times when we goofed off in class and pulled pranks on each other.

Damn. There are so many things.

But I still think not a lot has changed about any of us. Maybe we're all the same as we always were. Sure we've got fat, slim, rich, poorer, stingy, whatever. But we are still the same with each other as we were. We still torment each other with the same lame topics as we did earlier. And we still like and hate the same things about each other. I guess that's what friendship's all about. Being the same, always.

Today, I plan to spend a lot of time revisiting the old college picture's folder.

Day 17 : Mr. Mopey Vs Mr. Cheery

Things have a way of coming around to to bite you in the butt sometimes.

I remember this one guy from work that had a serious inferiority complex with respect to another co-worker. Both came from the same town, same university, both even looked the same - short and stout, similar family background, drawing similar paycheck each month, working on same technology. The only difference one was a really cheery happy-go-lucky guy and everyone's fav guy. The other was sullen and silent, that guy in every group picture who's too shy/pompous to smile for the camera. You can never make up your mind whether you like him or not.

The sullen guy, we'll call Mopey, puts in extra hours at work does all the tasks on time, even earlier than most. Rarely gets up from his seat even for tea breaks, when he does he always goes alone. 

The smiley guy, we'll call Cheery, rarely stayed overtime, went for tea breaks and lunch like clockwork with a big group of colleagues, and still gets his work done by the end of the day. 

The only difference here was when people here knew who Cheery was; they just tend to think Mopey was part the office furniture.

Mopey didn't like it one bit. He tries, by God does he try. But I guess its just the way some people are and there is just no changing what’s in their nature no matter how much they themselves want to. He tries to speak with co-workers, opening up to people about him selves, trying to listen what they did over the weekend or when they crib about how the client is over-working them or how their wives are being a big nag-machine of late.

But he soon gets tired of all the talk. His mind drifts off to someplace else, and starts taking glances at his mobile screen checking out the time and everyone knows he is not listening to single word what they are saying.

That's where Cheery really trumps, he listens. He knows everyone's story. He knows whose relationship sucks, he knows who is dating who at work, and he even knows if someone likes books or shoes better as a birthday gift.

As a little getting back for being so awesome, Mopey pulled a nasty trick on Cheery last week. He overheard someone speaking to Cheery in the cafeteria, sitting on the next table to him while he was on his lonesome as usual. He came to know of some little secret about this someone, who was only comfortable sharing it with Cheery here. Mopey spread the little tidbit around office. He was real sly about it as well, proud of his own genius.

Well it worked it seemed. This someone and Cheery had big falling out, everyone started to wonder if Cheery could really keep a secret. Cheery started to lose his shine.

Mopey forgot one little detail. He doesn't talk to people much. When he does, the other guy remembers the conversation pretty well. And everyone was much better friends with Cheery than to him. The story un-puzzled itself before the work-week as up. Everyone now knew how Mopey was the real culprit. And now everyone is farther away from Mopey, and closer with Cheery as ever. All was right again in the universe.

Lesson to be learnt - before entering a game you don't know the rules to, ensure that at least you have you butt covered in case of a backfire.

Today, was conspiratorially enlightening.

Day 16 : Under Pressure

I know a lot many of us sometimes spend an obscene amount of time on self-contemplation and self-doubt. Half of the time when we go down this road we end up being more disheartened than we started with. Who wants to live forever in that maze of messed up psyche.

I suppose that should hold true for all of Bohemians. After all the things that we think of most is not of what we had done, but what we had not done. We put ourselves down so bad that we are incapable of thinking ourselves are able bodies to do anything. So we go in following the herd doing things halfheartedly and with the same mimic mentality that original herd-beings live by.

We are not cattle. We are the champions. We are not meant to just follow the lead. If it were so, I don't think would've ever found civilization to begin with. I think all our actions must define our personality. If something that we do feels out of character to us, it is probably because it really is and we'd be better by just getting rid of it. The best way to do that is by following one simple rule.

"Nothing you do matter, if you are not doing it for the right reasons!"

I know we do a bunch of things in our daily lives to keep the people in our lives happy. And to keep free from controversy and unwanted hassle. But do you think that actually helps anything? You'll never actually put yourself into it. You'll suck at it. You'll feel miserable about it. The person you're doing it for, gets a half-baked effort from you and is disappointed at you. You feel all the more miserable it. So in the end, what you get is your equation with someone is now much worse than what it was when you begin with. In the end everyone bites the dust going this road.

Don't get me wrong. Everything in life, everything, is about people. The 'somebody' you love. The people you like. The people you hate. The people you are jealous of. The people you think you are superior to. The people you look up to. The people whom you'd like to protect. The people who you'd like to strangle. Life is all about the people in it. And every aspect of your life revolves around what you do for and with these people.

In the end what really matters is, you yourself. You have to have the heart in the right place. You need to have to be able to do things, say things, feel things just the way you want to and at the pace you'd like to. Don't ever let anyone pressure you into something you're not ever comfortable with. Be free.

Today, I want to break free.

(Yes, today’s post is filled with a lot of Queen references!)

Day 15 : War of the Words

I've been watching old episodes of Scrubs of late. It's really funny, in a lame dorky sort of way. But I like it.

And the JD inner-monologue thing is totally relatable. I think we all do that. Maybe it is just me; I hope that did make it seem like me saying I hear voices inside my head. I do not. Most of the time.

Anyhow. I sometimes have this inner monologue with myself, most of these happen when I am especially pissed off at somebody or did some extremely embarrassing. I play it around inside my head, cursing myself over it, or thinking up of smart things I could've said to bring in a strong comeback line.

Alas, always after the moment has been passed. Funny, how none of these wit and spunk actually was around when I was in between the argument itself. So many wars would've been tilted to your truly's favor.

We all seem so smart and intelligent inside our heads, with all of our personality and charm at its best. I wonder if it gets lost in its way from our brain to our mouth. I think there must to be some sort of directions/sign-posts all along the way, which out our wit just conveniently ignores and we end up paying the price by embarrassing ourselves.

I remember at least half a dozen incidents since my wee-lad age where I stood there stumped and looking like a buffoon. Only a couple of minutes after the moment had passed finally figuring out the one-liner that would have been the perfect come back.

Well today was one of those days when I actually did that. Even the liners that I cooked up inside my head after the squabble did not come close to the scar that my original one hit home with my opponent. And yes, no matter what you may think of it, I am proud of that. This sort of success doesn't come daily to Mr. Nice Guy.

Today, was fun.

Day 14 : The Paper Presentation

I knew this girl when I was in Chennai. She worked in her parent’s tea shop near the neighborhood where I stayed. It was during the first weeks of my moving there so this establishment was the only one familiar to us and we used to frequent it each night post dinner - me for hot cup of masala tea, others to puff their post-supper cancer-sticks.

The store was run by a Telugu family. I hadn't heard the language a lot before coming to Chennai so had to use a mix of Tamil and body language to get them to understand what we wanted, they didn't speak much of Tamil either. But since this had become more of a routine for me, and I had ended up becoming their regular customer and was was beginning to get a hang of their language and these people itself.

The girl I mentioned earlier was in her early teens, fifteen I'd guess. But she looked and behaved like someone who was much older. She had the grace and confidence of someone who knew exactly what's on her mind and how to express it. And was never embarrassed that she didn't know the language she was trying to communicate it. I thought accomplishing all that was a big feat, as most of the southies I meant in my time here were really shy when it came to communicating. She was in some distance professional education I don't remember which. And by the looks of it, she was pretty serious about it.

One night out of the blue, her father came up to me while having tea. He looked like he wanted to speak to me, but was unsure of how. So he simply handed over a pamphlet to me he was carrying for me. There was "Paper Presentation" written in bold italics at the top. It was an advert for an inter-collegiate technical paper presentation competition in a local Chennai university. Apparently he thought his daughter wished to enroll in it. So I took it from him and went over to his daughter who as usual was seated at the cash counter.

She took once glance at pamphlet, and the look on her face said clearly how sad the sight of it made her. "I no go, no money for printout", her reply was barely a mumble.

Then I somehow asked her about the topic that she was thinking of presenting. It was about some sort of cleansing process that reprocesses domestic household waste water for agricultural use. She had already prepared clippings from her textbooks and some Xerox pages from library books. It was almost all done really, just needed to get it all put together on a document. It was a Friday anyway and it was only a little past 8 at night and I didn't have anything else going for me. So I thought, what the hell. Let's do this.

I got her to carry her pen-drive and materials to a nearby internet cafe. I asked her to sit with me and recite the whole paper. Within a couple of hours the whole thing was done. It was not more than 25 pages really. Not too much of a worry.

I got it printed, spiral-bound and gave it to her and sent her on her way saying I had some of my stuff to do online. A few minutes after she had left, I got up and went over to the counter, the guy just asked for Rs.213, which is less than what I'd spend on a McChicken burger. But somehow this felt a lot more satisfying.

She didn't win the presentation, yes. But she'd win one on her third try, which was just a couple of month later. She learnt fast.

Today, I added her on Facebook. We chatted for a little while. She has completed her course and is now working in a university in south Tamil Nadu as a research lab assistant. Her English has gotten much better. She even used a word that was new to me - abeyance. Normally that would make me kick myself. But today I sort of felt pretty proud of her. Good going, kid!

Day 13 : Why Don't You Drink Alcohol?

One more person to ask me this question, I am seriously going to start contemplating bloody murder. Freddy Kruger style.

Come on! The fact that I do not drink alcohol is not going to mean the end of the world now, is it? I don't drink and that’s that, it shouldn’t be a cause to make so much of a fuss around. Every single party I go, this question is posed to me at least half a dozen times. And at least one of these bozos would make a glass for me and try to get me to drink holding it inches from my face with the stench of it all the more nauseating for me. Not helping guys.

Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against the liquid or any of its devotees. For Pete’s sake, almost all of best mates are alcoholics to some level now. And if had any hatred towards their kind, I will be without hope of friendship anywhere. People drink in parties. People throw a party to drink. And these days, everyone drinks. So parties are just a reason for people to drink together.

And at every such party there is someone to whom me not drinking is like the biggest mysteries on this planet since JFK. I don't drink just because I don't feel like it.

Whenever I ask any one you guys why you drink, the answer ya'll give is because drinking is fun. Well here I am, having fun and not drinking. You don't see me slicing my wrist or something now do you? I mean, why else should you think I am not having a good time? Actually in some cases, I am having even a better time than half the drunks that I see in the parties. The sad mopes. The heartbreaks. The inferiority complex group. My father didn't love me group. I mean come on! Do you really think those guys are drinking because it is fun for them?!

And at any case, any person who hasn't spent time in a booze party without drinking, maybe the pregger women, will attest this. It is way too much fun to witness the sheer stupidity of you drunks when ya'll really lose it. I knew a guy who used to sing in a woman's voice when he was high. Another one who used to abuse his spouse and supervisor, with a very language so creative that it would make even George Carlin proud. There is this other guy, to put it mildly, who’s chubbier than any guy you know, he would do a mean break-dance right there no-matter-where if you put on  the "Lungi Dance" for him.

I've had been to a lot of great parties. And I have not been drunk in any of them. So I think it is safe to say I am going to survive just fine in the near future as well.

Guys, I am way too loud. Overtly frank. With no filter between mind and mouth. Way too imaginative with way too many innuendos for any given situation. Way too physical. Way too big. Imagine adding alcohol to that equation. I don't think it would be a pretty sight, not judging by the many nasty things that I've seen you drunks do around me.

Today, I think I will just be happy with another orange juice. Thank you.

Day 12 : Workaholic

I am not sure if you, who are reading this, are already in my daily good-morning mailer list or not. If you are you might've already seen the above picture in my today's mail, and if not I'd really like it if you’d send me you personal id so that I can add you to my list! :)

Anyhoo. The reason that this picture got to be here is that A: I was feeling too lazy today to think up something interesting to write about; B: Damn, this one does feel so true!

Every person I see these days, no matter what sort of job they are doing are workaholics or are slowly and surely on their path to become one. Everyone is in a hurry be the big dog of the park that we all are too invested in our professional lives than the life that we have outside of it.

Our personal life takes a drastic hit. I mean just look at it. The image does say 8 hours. But I don't remember the last day I've comfortably worked just that much hours. I don't think many people in Indian IT market have. There's is always more work to be completed and not enough work hours in the day to do them. So we take the work home, with friends, with family and everywhere else that we are supposed to be with anything but timelines and deliverables running through your head!

And all for what? For some promotions to a position in which you will have more responsibilities to shoulder and longer hours to put in. The work is not going to get any lesser, and you're not going to get any younger. Sure you will work your butt off each day, put in all of your skills and brains into what you are doing. And why shouldn't you. Most people like to be good at what they are doing. But the things that you are going to able to do now, when you are twenty-something, will not be available for you when you are a thirty-something with that couple of promotions under your belt and a family of yourself to feed.

What you can do now. You can only do now.

Today, I would like to do at least one of them.

Day 10 : Be Patient

It is quite interesting to see the lengths to which we go to salvage a situation. You know at the core of your being that it is not going to work out. The time for any rescue is way past. There is no way in Dante's hell there is going to be happy ending to this story. But all the while, knowing all that, you still try every trick you can think of to sort it all out.

Most often than not, it doesn't.

You go ahead give it your best shot anyway, but then realize that your best is just not good enough anymore. Things that used to come so easily to you in the past are just not working anymore. The spark is gone; you've lost your mojo. Well maybe you did not lose it. Maybe it's time has passed. Everything comes with an expiry date.

Still being the optimist you always were. You give it an extra try. And you fail. You give it another go. And you fail. But when you try once more and still fail again. You should be already starting to see that something is off.

Some things are supposed to get screwed up over time. Some things you are supposed to suck at. And once you lose it, it does not always come back to you all peachy and happy happy during the climax. Life is not Notting Hill. And you are by no measure Hugh Grant.

You see, the world is a mess. Chaos rules all of creation. And in all of this chaos if you think this one thing is any different. Buddy, you're a fool. You've been played by your own faith in a person's capacity of friendship.

The best you can do in this scenario is to just let burning timbers lie. Let it flames burn through high and angry. Because in the end, all that would be left of it is a pile of grey ash. This would eventually be swept away by the winds of time.

Today, be patient.