Day 22 : Confoundists

con·found (kənˈfound/ verb) 
cause surprise or confusion in (someone), especially by acting against their expectations.

Life is an immensely complicated and deceptive beast. Every single moment that you'd hoped would turn out good, life eventually turns it into something entirely different. No amount of preparation and virtuous effort form your side even made a dent on the trajectory that life has assumed for itself. It will be as it will be, and you don't have any say on it.

I have been expecting this for so long now that I have actually noticed that nothing actually surprises me anymore. Nothing actually fazes me or rattles my stride. I have begun to unconsciously always expect a surprise around the corner that would flush all of my efforts down the drain and make me to start all over again. Square one isn't actually where I am sent back to, it usually is where I am usually. And I have made such a comfy nest down here, square one is really not half bad.

You see, I have seen people dream about the places they hope to be, the goals they hope to achieve or the things they wish to hold in their own hands. People seeing themselves in a better place in life than where they are right now. And for me, right here and right now, is reality. Real world is where all my troubles prizes are, here is where I should be too.

When people compare themselves with other who seem to have it better than themselves. I sort of compare myself with people with much unfortunate circumstances than myself. There is always that one day in life that you were down and disheartened. Deeply sad about the way things were. If your today is even a tiny bit better than that day. Dude, you're thriving. Being successful in life does not always mean having the best of everything and being famous and rich and prosperous. Sometimes it just mean being able to find content and joy and essential wonder in the life that you live than be bogged down with the regret of not having the life that you hope to live.

Life will keep on throwing curve balls at you. You will always be expected to find new ways to deflect them. And you need to be swift at it too, cause before you know it life would have already launched another covert attack into your happy place.

Always expect surprises. Always know in your very being that things will not go as you think it will. Always be prepared for any darn outcome in life. Prepare yourself. The surprises that life throws at you are not meant to confound you and confuse you into submission. They are to empower to succeed.

If something happens that you were never really prepared for - fall down, lift yourself up, and get back at it. Give it another try. If not the second or third or even the tenth, somewhere down the line you will succeed.

And succeed you will. For you are not rattled anymore, you are a Confoundist.

Day 11 : About Parenting

I am at that point in life when a lot of my friends are either engaged, hitched, or expecting children. Every time I go on social media I can always see something posted up by friends making what they hope to be a big social-media announcement. It has happened so often now, even the auto-correct on my phone has started prompting Congratulations as soon as I start typing any word starting with a C. And let me tell you, it didn't always suggest that specific C word for me use while replying to something on social media. Little things like that would make you think about the choices that you've made in life, y'know?

Anyways, I've recently discovered one of my college friends had become father to two (how could they possibly be so tiny?) twin daughters. He is not the first of my friends to become a parent. But his newborns were twins, which was something new, and also he never was the kind of guy that you'd ever picture to be of the fatherly kind. I suppose all of us would one day come to this phase in life. But there are always those few who you'd always expect not to procreate. Those who are not exactly naturally caring. The thought is a downer yes. But then parenting is not a kind of thing where you get to have a do-over. You have to get it right every darn time. You are responsible for the upbringing for a little human being, and all the other offspring that would come after him/her.

Most people I'd guess just end up teaching themselves to be good parents. There is really any specific rules written for it. Well, I guess there are. Mostly I think if you manage to get your spawn to not die till he gets a job, you're good. And also ensure he doesn't become a mass murderer or a sarcastic hipster-jerk. Yeah that's crucial.

Our parents had it easy. They had us in an age when we had to go through a lot of trouble to figure out the bad stuff for ourselves. Not everything was available to everybody at the click of a button. Even middle-schoolers carry around iPads and smartphones. Just googling, "How to be a serial killer" would give them like 29 million results. Trust me, I tried. That sort of scares me a little. How could anyone even think of bringing another soul into this sad mucus of a planet.

Everything is shitty. Everyone is crappy about everything. Every news you every about on the media is about how the world is on its final violent death rattle. Why would you want to bring another kid into the mix? Especially when you would be ethically and legally bound to take care of the little brat?

You sit and spend time thinking of all that. You begin to become cynical of everything and everyone. You begin to feel sorry for the kids being born everyday. They are going to have a lousy future in store for them, just because their parents couldn't keep their hands off of each other. You yourself though spend your time going through the motions of being a normal human-being, trying not to seem as scared shitless as you are. Being a normal human involves you visiting the new kids borne by your friends in the hospital. You congratulate the father on his accomplishment (?). You compliment the mother she did well, and that she looks beautiful and glowing. Then you dutifully go over to the crib where the special guest of the day is half asleep comfortably bundled in her many soft blankets.

You look at this little tiny living thing. You barely detect it breathing. You are slightly doubtful if it is even alive. Then its eyes open just slightly, as if it detected your doubting her mere existence. Then her lips spread out slightly into what looks like smile. (Does she even know what a smile is?) She stretches her limbs within the blankets, snuggling into herself, getting comfortable in her crib. Her eyes open wider and she looks directly at you. You feel goosebumps all over you. She notices you. This little amazing creature has got you into her eyesight. And that is a weird feeling. It seems like she can see directly within you. She sees you for all that you are. Her lips again part to give that expression you associate with a smile. But it is way more than that. It is like her acknowledgement that you exist. Her way of saying, "I see you, and I approve of you." That somehow seems like the biggest acclamation you've received all your life.

You wish to move your hands. You wish to touch her. You want to feel her soft sweet-smelling skin with your fingers. But you are afraid you might hurt her. She seems so fragile and precious. You look down smiling back at her. Watch her for another moment while she shuts her eyes again and drifts off to whatever world babies visit in their sleep.

You turn around say your friends a brisk goodbye and leave the hospital. You discover that you like kids. And that feeling you felt when the baby smiled back at you, is the reason people always wanted to become parents. And when do, you will do everything humanly possible to not much it up. You will be the best parent you can be. You will always have hope. And you will always teach your child to have hope. That I suppose is the most important rule of all.

Day 31 : Secret To Get Rid Of The Blues : Beaches

Today was sort of depressing. Not a lot matters to a person, who has for a long while who's considered himself a lost cause. And being around someone so down in the gutters, can make anyone feel very glum about life.

I have always been strong on the belief that we as specie have only been able to reach the point of greatness that we are in by doing extraordinary things with the things that nature has bestowed upon us. I mean look at us, we are not as strong as a bear, nor are we as fast as a wild cat. But still we are at the top of the food chain while others are barely surviving in the endangered species list. I don't suppose that's any individual's point to brag about, but still I think there is a lesson to be learned there.

We have immense capacity for greatness. Even if that greatness is not Aristotle or Da Vinci or Genghis Khan type of greatness but awesome nonetheless. We all were such a puny slimy thing when born. And look at us now; we each have a mind of our own and persona to boot. We are all our own creations, we should be really proud of ourselves.

Instead, we spend a large part of our lives whining about little things that we find not so pleasing about our lives. We feel so insecure about ourselves that we compare our lives and ourselves to everyone around us. When see one of friend's pictures partying in Bangkok, we say why not me? When we see updates of them going out with someone hot, we say why not me? When we see them getting promoted, we say why not me? When we see them winning awards or getting to travel overseas for work, we say why not me? I don't know, I suppose we do seem a little like Samwell Tarly. Forever self-depreciating.

But when we sit and think about it, aren't we being a bit tunnel sighted. I mean sure that guy is dating a hot chick, did you stop to think maybe he is also being cheated on? Sure that guy is travelling abroad; maybe that guy has had to leave behind his newborn child behind because of it. Sure that guy is partying in Thailand; maybe that guy lost lot money doing that. You see, there is another side to every news feed. Not everything that appears on your Facebook is gospel. Sit and think about it. Do you think you're life is any less glorious than any of them just because of lesser events or glossy pictures to show off?

You cannot measure your life with moments that are breathtaking and joyous. Nor can we indict it, based on the moments that hurt you or made you weep. Cumulatively, our lives are much bigger than these moments. And it is our responsibility to recognize that respect its grandeur. We are not handicapped by a few setbacks, nor are we empowered by a handful of good fortune.

When you feel you are going through a spree of screw-up. Take a break. Go to the beach; take a lungful of the warm stuffy air. Take a gander at the wide ocean spread out in front of you. See the sky high above, higher than any of the dreams and hopes you've set for yourself. Feel the small grains of sand between your toes. Feel your own self in the grand scale of things. See how tiny you are? Now imagine how puny your troubles really are.

You don't feel too intimidated by them now, do you?

We all go through rough patches of luck in life. It is inevitable. But while going through them, we must always remember that these are also the times when a man discovers his true potential.

So instead of whining and complaining, and give everyone around you the blues. Start being your optimistic, and give yourself a pat in the back for surviving so far in the fight.

Today, go to the beach.