Day 26 : Success

Entitlement - it can be most easily defined as the feeling that somebody has that he should get everything that he desires, just by virtue of his desiring it.

This is something that we see a lot in people these days. People just expect for good things to miraculously happen to them. We are so narcissistic in our belief that our life is so star-studded awesome that all good things just have to come our way. We deserve every single happy thing that exists in this universe. You can be the biggest the laziest douchebag the world has ever known, but you will always expect your life to turn up like one of those feel-good movies. You sit on your ass all day, never even pretending to actually make an effort. But in the end, you always expect for your life to have the happy ending that all those famous people have.

I blame them stories that we are told when we are young. We read a three page article on how this guy became the next Mark Zuckerberg, but never really get to read the three hundred page chapter of what he had to do and sacrifice to get to become that. We see them successful people in Silicon Valley, or The Social Network, or Pirates.. , or Wall Street and we just get to thinking that to be successful the basic criteria that you check out is that you have to be smart and selfish and you definitely have to be a dick. If you each of  those, that's about it. All of the other stuff just falls into place. Nahhh.

One other theme in all of them stories is how those successful people in the end find themselves at the top of the mountain only to find that there is no one really around them to celebrate their success with. They are at the pinnacle of success but nobody who is close enough to them to give them a hug and a pat on their back to say, 'dude, you made it.' Now, you would say, that guy has millions for dollars laying around, do you think he even cares he has people around him. He can probably pay for random people to come to him and pat his back or even write a epic ballad singing his praises. He is frigging millionaire. He can do as he damn well pleases. Well, I guess he can.

But I also think all of us have this deep-set need to validated by the people we care for. We are not as insulated from our own feelings as we like to think. We may pretend to be the sarcastic cold hearted hipster jerks we are. However, we are all mush inside. And our feelings are the true chinks in our armors. But I just don't think that is our weakness really, that is mostly what makes our success more worthwhile. Being able to celebrate and share our success with people dear to us makes it more special.

Don't seclude yourself. Don't shed yourself of people close to you. They are not a burden. They are probably the things that would provide you with the crucial incentive to go through with that final push towards glory.

Day 71 : Having a Good Time!

Sometimes there comes a day when you feel like things are just a bit to weird. Well weirder that usual at least. Most of our time we spend walking around like a tin soldier. We only go to bed at night to key back again, only to wake up the next day and repeat the same BS all over again. Our days become inexplicably merged together. All of it goes by so fast, and of so little consequence that soon begin to wonder if the last year did happen at all. Or did the universe just skip a few months and the people in it are just in on the prank. Everyone is just playing a trick on you. Or maybe just soon you will wake up one day an all of this will be just a half-remembered dream.

There are times when some guy comes up to me and says, 'remember that we did that thing', and I want to bash his stupid face in. Because I do not remember the first thing of what he is saying. And what sucks more is when the story he is describing is such a laugh riot, and you did play a part in it. And by the looks of it, you would've really enjoyed it a lot. But heck if you remember even bit of any of it. This sucks. You are always complaining that you seem to be having a very monotonous life and nothing of any excitement has been happening anymore. Then you begin to realize that things do happen. You really do not change. People around you do not really change. The way you react with them, do not really change. What mostly happens is that the good times do not register as often into your brain as it used to earlier.

You see, as you progress with your life your expectation and definition of what 'having a good time' means gets blown way out of proportion. You think having a good time means, getting wasted on the deck of a cruise ship with pretty girls and blue ocean all around you. How often does that happen anyway? Not all of can be Jordan Belfort from The Wolf of Wall Street. And also the truth is you don't really need to own a 100K yacht to enjoy yourself. At least you never really needed them in the past did you? You always had a rowdy ol' time with your friends and colleagues. What has changed? Have you become boring now? Don't people include you in their funcapades anymore?

Not true. As far you know you are not missing out on any exciting nights happening around you. Maybe you are just getting old, and so are the people around you. Maybe what people you know do for having fun has changed as well. Maybe getting wasted is not a big priority for them anymore. And anyways, you never got high on anything earlier either did you, so why should it matter now? Even now you can get people to enjoy themselves, go out of their way to feel the moment. And isn't what having a good time is all about. To actually stop the constant monologue going on inside your head, and see/hear/feel of whatever you are doing or wherever you are doing it. Really, just noticing your life at any instance of time makes it memorable.

Make memories. It is much cheaper to do than you'd think.

Day 69 : Milestones

I know it's been a while since I wrote something here. Promise I am working something that's going to be worth the while. Till then.

Find my today's post in here - Milestones

Day 59 : Work Life Balance

For past few days I've been having my morning tea at office with some newer colleagues of mine. People who have joined the company recently. Senior folks who've had a lot experience in bunch of other establishments and somehow now find themselves in the next cubicle with a secret stash of Game of Thrones mugs and posters in one of his desk drawers. 

I like mingling at work, that's one of the good things about me, I am sort of proud of the fact that I know most of the people in my floor by name and shoulder fists. And they have same of me. So undoubtedly I talk to all the new folks, find something we have in common so that when we happen to stand close at the Men's there are no awkward silences while we both try our best to look straight at the wall in front of us.

Today while having tea and breakfast with these folks, a topic that started with getting smart about financial investment went on into past girlfriends in college, to wave boarding, and finally to work-life balance in all of their previous companies. I agree those are quite a lot of tangents in a 30 minute conversation. Well you are bound to have a lot of those when you are in conversation with me.

Anyways, apparently this has been a major deciding factor for all of these folks while switching companies. They all have had at least own rotten experience in their life where they've had to spend more time in office than at home, something they all despised, and having going almost broke paying medical bills for stress and exhaustion related ailments. Most of these men are at least a decade older than me. So most of their part of the conversation involves them lecturing sage words of wisdom about work in IT life. I really don't mind any of it, honestly. I actually do enjoy listening to stories of other people. It makes people very personal and relatable. I like that.

There was one person who used to work in a Dot Com start up back in the 2000's when it was in its last throes of glory. Back when a sites' success was not based on the shock value or media buys. Not every website had to sell-out to be a success. He seemed to be passionate about it, a lot more than he is about his work now. Well he has been into this for over 15 years; I guess the heat wears off in time. He likens his time at the startup to the time in every relationship when the romance has just started and you've just begun shacking it up. You are discovering new things about each others. Each part is a mystery, and you enjoy solving the mysteries. Both about her and about you. But soon the pace tires you out. You are beat and breathless. The passion weans out. And you begin to think to cut loose before things get a lot worse for you. You quit/breakup.

There was another person who used to work in a hardcore tech environment. His company used to develop software for various industries to manage their invoice and inventory system. All very complex and technical. Highly crucial and high profile stuff. Very stressful, a lot of money was on the line to afford to goof things up. He worked there for 5 years. Had to be hospitalized twice, destroyed his relationship with a long time girlfriend and now has nothing but a car a lifelong heart disease to show for it. The sad part was that he never realized things were that bad when he was there. There was no epiphany, or a moment of clarity where he came to realize how this one job was dragging his life into the gutter and he quit. The fact was that he was laid off during the recession. He gave up all the good parts for this company and it gave him up for a newer and a much younger prey. I think he hated that part the most.

There was another guy who used to work in the IT department of a banking firm. He seemed to have a much more relaxed work life. A bit too relaxed as matter of fact. He worked there for eight years. He was in his twenties when he joined right out of college, smart and energetic. Also very young. So he obviously enjoyed all the free time. He used to leave work soon while all of his buddies were still toiling away at their desks. He had a lot of time for himself. And he spent most of it high on booze and "playing the field" (I know. That's exactly what he said!). He spent all of his 20's like that. Got married when he was 31, arranged by his parents. Now has a kid. Has a job that doesn't really pay as much as what his experience and role might usually get him. All because he spent a little too much time goofing around while his mates were able to work long and learn more, what he learned in his previous company is now obsolete. Now he says he is too old learn new stuff. And he has a family to support now, he cannot risk with a lower paying job and start from the ground level again. He has to take what he gets.

Yes. That was my early morning breakfast conversation. Delightful isn't it.

Today, I need to find a lesser depressing crowd to hang out with for lunch at least.