Day 2 : Everybody Needs Somebody

Remember the time when I started this additional blog to write something daily no matter what. lol. Anyways, like every absentee father who'd missed his son's birthday party, I promise I'll do better next time.

So what can we talk about tonight? Well, I am back into travelling big. Did a long trip last month. So that was good. Should write something about that soon. And yeah, my spare mobile phone was lot/stolen. Which was not too good. And, one of my friends is getting married. Again. And I mean that literally, one of my friends, somebody that I went to school with is getting into his second marriage right now. Frigging turds on sticks, who'd have thought that. I am at an age now where my friends have been already married, separated, divorced, and remarried. Damn. 

Don't get me wrong, I am happy for this person of course. No friend would wish for another to stick around in a loveless marriage. But heck, come on, why would you even get into one in the first place. Sure you got something good going on. Why overload it with the pressures of matrimony. I know I am not the best person to talk of being married. I might very well be talking about giving birth. Which also I don't know the first thing of. But I have been around people who have been married, and women who have had little human people come out of them. And this is something that both of them have said about the experience, not an easy thing. Both are messy,  loud, emotional and kind of miraculous. 

I mean, finding that one person you'll want to spend the rest of your life with is something of a miracle in itself. We live in age now when people are so desensitized to emotions that we go out of our way to not have to show even an iota of it to another living soul. We can talk about our feelings and vulnerability to total strangers over the internet, but when it comes to sharing with someone whom we run risk of having to talk the next day. We just avoid it. We don't like talking about ourselves. 

No that's not true, we love talking about ourselves a lot. That's pretty much what we do in Facebook and Instagram. But that's not really the real us, not our real life, that is just us faking it to show everyone else how great our lives are. If we were to really talk about us at all, it would be a sad and depressing and lonely. And nobody likes a whiner. Nobody should think of us like that. Whining is for losers, and we are winners. 

Oh, please. 

This friend I was talking of, the one who is remarried now, is a real big shot. Big family business and all that. He used to get dropped to school every day in his dad's long expensive car. Before long he started dating this girl we all had a crush on. Well, you'd think we all feel pretty good now that things have turned out lousy for him. To be honest, yeah. For a minute I think I'd felt something that could be best described as content at watching his life become miserable. 

Just for a few minutes, during the birthday party where he told us about his divorce. Then this big adult guy, started to cry. 

Hard liquor and sorrow and girl trouble are all bad combinations. The crying stuff made this whole debacle seem really unappetizing. 

It immediately sobered up everyone else at the table. We ended up shoving him off in a Uber and had the most silent final rounds in the history of drinks nights. Trust me I have been the sober person in all such nights. This was the most silent room I have been in with drunk guys. I could bet each of these guys was sitting around silently with their glasses in their hand thinking about the one that got away. Most of them have someone back at home. Some have been married or been with their partners for more than six years. But there is always that one person that got away. The emotional relationship that they have with that person would be the longest one they will ever have with anyone else in their lifetime. 

We are all vulnerable when it comes to matters of the heart. And we never share anything for fear of it being considered as a weakness. And being naked like that with someone is scary as hell. We would rather shut ourselves up with all our sorrows and hope it doesn't make us insane. And if not for anything else, just for not having to lock ourselves up in a loony bin. Everybody needs somebody.

Anyways, that guy is married again now. Is off honeymooning in Dubai, I think. Good for him. I might hate him. But I don't envy him his sorrows. Divorce and second marriage in your late 20's. Good luck, mate.

And to those of us who are yet to start on their first (and hopefully only) matrimonial adventure. There you go - even at its worst, this life ain't that bad really. 

Day 14 : Taking For Granted

I read in an article a while back. Most of the relationships that break up are because somebody began to take the other for granted. Because they began to forget to give them with the same, or at least some comparable portion, of attention that they gave their spouse when they were courting. I am pretty sure it was in one of those Cosmo/Women's Era sort of magazine. Don't ask me what I was doing reading that thing. Given the opportunity and the time, I will read anything.

Anyways, cut to today. As I'd mentioned earlier how often these days I am encountered with a bunch of social media announcements; of weddings and engagements and such. This week I'd noticed a profile update of someone from school. About her getting committed with someone. As one normally does in such scenarios, I left a like and a comment saying how happy I am for her and yada-yada-yada. I'd forgotten all about the post quite soon, later when I woke up I see that she had IMed me asking me my home address. Apparently she was sending out the wedding invitation to people by post. I didn't realize people still did that, at least not when it came to the random dozens of people you went to college with.

You see, this girl and I weren't exactly all that friendly back in the day. She was in my classes and we had the same group of friends to we've hung out and all, but it was not the kind of relationship that would require one having to formally invite the other to their wedding. I thought one comment on their wedding pictures was the norm for these things.

So obviously I was curious, and replied to her she can just mail the e-invite if she had any to my email address. And she said she can do that, yes indeed. And then she started to ask me other random stuff. You know the banter, how you doing and how's life, long time no see. You know the kind of mandatory gibberish that people lavish on you till they reach to actual crux of the conversation. 

"So how is Ajay?"

Aha. She wants me to talk about her ex. So freaking lol.

Ajay and I go way back, even before school. And we were in constant contact even after school. He is a stand up guy, the sort of guy you can always count on. But admittedly a little simpleminded when it comes to girls. And this chick is one of the few have experienced his inexperience first hand.

They used to be a thing in school, you know hanging out together all the time, after school 'tuition' and stuff. And as luck would have it they both got into colleges in the same city in another state. So obviously the relationship grew from sort-of-dating to all out Romeo+Juliet. If I have the history of it correctly, they went steady throughout college and a few months after. The girl found a better option, or got cold feet or got scared about getting her parents permission to marry him or whatever. And dumps the guy.

Cut back to today.I say Ajay is great and that he is work in a big international company and owns a home in the capital, drives a German car, and is engaged to a hot girl from Delhi. The soon-to-be-bride just goes silent for a bit and doesn't reply. When she does, she just says, good for him. I need to leave now. Bye.

And I put my mobile back on the table, lean back on my chair arms behind my head, legs spread out and smile a big wide smile of content on my face.

You see, my friend, Ajay (fake name, obviously), works for a lame company, doing something he hates. He doesn't own a car, and for all I know he probably has been late for his rent a couple of times. His life sucks. But she doesn't need to know any of that. She dumped his sorry ass. She took him for granted. And I was the one who he came to when he was crying about her. How she'd dumped him just cause she thought she could do better. She sized him up over time and when she found there is no big future in store for him she went looking for a better model. 

He treated her well, never hurt her in anyway, and probably loved her a whole lot. The guy has a good heart. I do realize that doesn't amount to much in today's world. But still, sometimes it really just feels wrong seeing a good person get trampled on over by stupid people. Some people are just too blind to what is good, and what is just flashy.

Nice guys finish last. For the feministly-inclined, I willl also add. Nice girls finish last, also holds true. Hurt happens more to the nice ones cause, they are too nice to walk away from anything just because it is not a comfortable position for them. They get hurt. 

Much of it comes with giving the people around you the power to be able to do harm to you. Be your own person. Strive to be the best version of yourself. If someone sticks around till you do find yourself, she's the one. Else, well who cares.

Day 61 : Mister Right and Miss Cool Girl

I’d just gotten off the phone with a serious headache and resonating 'eeeeee' noise in my ears. Well, you try get off an hour long call with a hyperactive girl trying to explain how frigging awesome her new boyfriend is. Let me save you the hassle, it is torture. Especially, if you've been having a nascent crush on this girl for some time. Why don't I do anything you ask? Well she's an old school mate, and one of my best friends in school dated her for a while. And you do not mess with the Bro-Code. But damn man, how was I to know she’d grow up to be such a hottie. Shame.

Anyways, now after a round of some aspirin-like pill and a drink of cold water, here I am sitting in front of my machine trying to work. And there is this one thing about our conversation that keeps coming back to me. Every other sentence she'd say 'and you know what just feels so RIGHT about him...' then she'd proceed to tell me just what mind-numbingly cheesy thing this dork did to get her to make out with him. (No! Of course I am not jealous at all. I promise.)

She is one of those girls who thinks that the guy who quits a bunch of his favorite things just to please her. Or does cute things for her, even if he doesn't realize he is. Is the one for her. Let me just tell one thing to all the women out there, we completely realize what we are doing! Do you think any one of us dumbasses is capable of being Mr. Right just by divine fate? Hell no! A lot of meticulous planning and a history of messed-up experience/research goes into creating your version of Mr. Right. So if you think you have found your Mr. Right, who simply just seems to get you, take my word for it this guy, this wonderful guy, has had a lot of practice being a dick with other girls till he got around to priming his game to as you know it now.

We men are not perfect, not even by a long shot. We are dirty, stinky, lazy dumbasses who like doing dumb shit just 'cause. We hate doing those girly things that you love so much. And we definitely hate that cute flowery bed sheet you bought into our bedrooms last month! We do not enjoy haircuts; we get them because growing greasy dreadlocks with occasional Cheetos in it is frowned upon at work. I mean, we would all be sitting there on our couches in the same set of clothes (or not at all) and watch TV all day if society didn't make it a mandate to pay for stuff. If men had their way the world would be a much shabbier (albeit awesome) place than it is now.

And don't get me wrong, you women are no walk in the park either. Hypocrites. You will walk about in high heels, spend like a thousand bucks on cosmetics a week and then turn around and say how misogynous today’s society is. I mean, come on, you are the one who is portraying yourself as the prepped up doll each week to score points with the leering crowd. I am hell sure that you don't buy those thongs and them underwire bras just cause of the heavenly comfort of them. I know society's dealt you with a shitty hand, but with all these fake stuff all over you are only playing right into their trap. Heck, even mother nature seems to have given you enough of bother with all that childbirth and PMS and whatnots.

You women are not perfect. You are complex, too needy, too kind, too generous, too naive, too sick, too angry, too mellow, too silent, too bold, and too shy. And that is just during the first half of your day. By the end of your lunch break you turn into something different altogether. And people around you have to start from scratch again to try making sense of any of it.

Men will never understand women. And women are forever destined to crave for a guy who just 'gets them'. Both are forever destined for disappointment.

We are all programmed by the media, and the books, and the songs about the kind of people we need to look for as suitable mates. Or the kind of things our spouses have to do to earn any of our affection. I am one of those people who just think all that is BULLSHIT!

There is no one method to find somebody that you'd want to spend the rest of your life with. Nor is there any one specific test that this person has to pass to make it into your good graces. Love has to just happen, I suppose. Affection does not come out of a do-it-yourself box. You cannot do this, this, and this, and the - 'Voila! The girl is in love with you'.

There is no Mister Right and there is no Miss Cool Girl. Get over that dream, ladies and beeps.

None of us is perfect. We are all just bunch of ugly, complex, pieces of messed up baggage walking around in search for some companionship. The best we can do is find somebody with whom we can be completely honest, and pray to Lord Almighty that this person doesn't turn chicken out of the blue and get his scared ass out of there before you can say 'noodle soup'.

Day 35 : Office Romances

If you've read my last post you already know how much I love public transportation. Mainly because there is  always a good chance that you'll get to witness something interesting. Today was one of them.

Today is Monday. And as is it is with a majority of people on this planet, I hate this day. It means the end of a two day's rest and the beginning of another grueling week at work. Today's commute promised to be just like that. Another start of the week where I try to recollect what was the situation in office on Friday, did I keep any time-bombs laying around that would've now exploded all over my inbox via mails over the weekend. This hasn't ever happened yet, but I always come to work on Monday with almost as much dread as despise.

I was having an inner monologue regarding it with myself like JD from Scrubs, about the how the little things scare us so much in life when I realized the train had almost reached my station. I got up to get near the exit. I was so engrossed in my conversation with myself inside my head that I didn't notice that some people around me were staring my way. I looked this way and that way, everyone really was looking at me. Was I talking out loud?

That's when I noticed that they weren't actually gawking at me but to the people standing behind me. A guy and a girl. The guy was tall and buffed up. The girl by the looks of it a Punjaban, umm a guy can always tell. They both looked very familiar. But since they were standing just behind me I didn’t have a good look. I couldn't just turn around and outright stare at time like a pervert. I’d wait till I got off the train.

All the time that I was conscious of them, I was also aware that they were arguing. The girl was talking mostly. And I sensed the reason that people were staring at her was not just because she was hot. But also because that she was verbally abusing the guy. Even I was impressed by the way she was describing various parts of the guy's anatomy. While the guy just stood there grinding his teeth, trying his best not to lash out at her. I am sure many in the compartment, had made silent bets with themselves that he will be losing it very soon if this went on another few minutes.

But in a few minutes we all got down the station and everyone went in their separate ways. I could still see people turning around repeatedly, or walking slow to catch some more of the couples spat. Apparently they were working at the same office complex as my company so it was easier for me to stay within earshot to them. Sorry, some gossips are just irresistible.

By the time we got out the station and crossed the road, their conflict had died out and they both got silent. In the beginning they were walking along side each other, if only to be able to fight better. But now, since they had become largely aware of the people around them enjoying themselves with their early morning soap drama. They became silent and started walking apart from each other. The guy walked brisk and ahead of her, while the girl got her earphones out of her handbag and put them on walking a few paces behind him.

This went on all along the way till the entrance of our office complex. I had by this time, restarted the music in my own earphones that I had paused in the train while listening to their argument. I walked along the sidewalk shuffling music and had nearly forgotten the couple by the time I reached my office building. I looked up, and there they were. The guy still walking fast, the girl still a few steps behind now speaking to someone on her phone. They worked in the same company as me. Now I realized why they looked so familiar, they were teammates with one of my friends. Interesting.

Then it got more interesting. When the time came to get into the elevators to go to our respective floors the girl skipped two shuttles to avoid getting into the same elevator as the guy. Maybe she thought getting into such close confines with someone when you're as mad as at him as right now, is not a good idea. Incidentally I got into the same elevator as she did. The ride  as usual was silent, everyone busy with their own mobile phones and thoughts. But my attention was secretly directed to the girl throughout. She was sobbing a little, shivering all over, her skin white as sheet. She really was upset.

When the lift opened up at the floor she worked in, she only realized it to get out at the last moment. On the other side of the lobby, I could see the guy also just getting into the same lobby. Well, they both did work in the same team remember. This day was going to be very tormenting to them. Must be very uncomfortable, sitting near someone with whom you have so much baggage.

I don't know what their story is. But just to be conventional, let's just assume they were a couple. They just had a fight. Hopefully just a small one which’ll get fixed in a couple of days. But what if it didn't? What if they split up? Well they did work on the same floor, probably sat close to each other. They’ll inevitably rub shoulders with the same set of people. They’ll probably cause more awkward situations with their colleagues, over whose parties to attend. It is always tough to choose which friend to stand by post a break-up.

They will not even be able to work together properly. Their boss is going to have a lot many unforeseen complications coming his way. Good luck, guy.

Damn, this really is heavy.

Today, I think office romance is worse than what it is made up to be.

Day 30 : Good Things Come To Those Who Wait For It.

When we were kids we were repeatedly preached that the best things in life come to those who work for it.

Then we came to learn, there are not many things in life that can be titled as "best". Even what we think is the best right now, might get replaced something shinier and attractive somewhere down the line. The "best" thing is only so perfect for us until it is the only thing that holds our attention, once something more interesting comes into our lives these things lose their glitter. And so - out of sight, out of mind.

Next we came to learn, there are a lot many things in life that won't be coming your way no matter how much you toil for it. Some things are simply always out of our reach. It stays dangling there like a carrot in front of a rabbit, and we are destined to eternally race towards it. We'd be so much better off not dreaming about these things, no matter how desirable they may be. Because more sorrow is caused by these things that we desire, than those that we deserve.

This should be a good point as any to insert my take on this:

Good things come to those who wait for it.

There is nothing more important in a person's life than having that feeling at least once in their lifetime that they've finally accomplished something worthwhile in their life. I think that is what we all live for, to die knowing that when we finally shed our mortal coil, we leave behind something for our fellow men to remember us by. Nobody likes to be forgotten.

But when you come to think of it, there are around 7.3 Billion people on this planet right now. There must have been probably a similar number of people passed through this planet since the dawn of time. How many names of these people do you know? Okay to make it more practical, let's assign each person on this planet to write down all the people they could think of, historical, blood relatives, that-guy-who-brought-the-milk, anyone. Do you think if we combined this humongous list together we would be able to find every man or woman, or others, ever lived on this planet?

Probably not.

So what is the point? What is the whole point of your planning, backstabbing, scheming and conniving your way into the history books? What is the whole point of competing with the guy next to you to achieve that something that given time would be easily forgotten?

Sure you will be remembered today, tomorrow, even for a couple of dozen years after you die. Does that really mean that much a big of an accomplishment?

I don't know. I think the best that we can hope for is do good by the people around us - the people whose lives matter to us and to whom our lives really do matter. During our own frigging lifetimes. Once I do pass away, I don't think I will really know if someone spells my name wrong, or if someone spreads the rumor that I listened to Justin Bieber. Frankly my dear, I don't think I would give a damn.

Our lives are really quite amazing. And if you are reading this, it would be safe to assume that you earn enough to have a computer or mobile phone with Internet access. There are people much worse than you. Yes, like people who do not have a Facebook account. So be grateful that you have a better life.

Instead of complaining and whining all day about not having that special thing that you worked so hard for such a long time; why don't you take your folks out for a dinner tonight? Or simply order in a Pizza, rent a movie and veg out in front of the television with you arms around a loved one. In the end, these are the only people who are going to think of you the longest and remember you for what you truly are. Love them, and cherish them with all your heart. They matter.

Today, make plans for doing something special. And actually do it.

Day 18 - 25 : Old Friend's Wedding

Ah. Where shall I begin?!

This past week was so freaking amazing. Visited Gujarat after ages. And darn was it AWESOME!

Nothing compares to the feeling of belonging when you are with old friends. It's almost like coming home. The same old familiar jokes, same old familiar stories, and the usual banter and pushes and shoves. And if these friends happen to be of your college times, you can be guaranteed that things are going to be all the more eventful.

I remember one of my uncles’ say how the best times he had ever had and the best friends he had ever made were of when in college. Back then I was in high school and I sniggered at him thinking how I'd had the best gang of mates while in school and nothing would beat roaming around town with them in a borrowed cycle.

The wedding I was to attend was of a pair that had met in college and have been together ever since. So this wedding also was a special one. More of the old faces were compelled to make an appearance like me. The more the merrier.

When I looked around the dinner table when all of us were seated. I could see how we all were now in a very different place in our lives than how we were in college. A few of us married for a while now, a couple just newly married, no children as of now; but then that could change anytime as well. A few new marriages in the pipeline, by the year's end exactly half of my original group would be married. And why shouldn't it be so, after all it is nearly five years since we left college.

Damn. That’s a long time.

But I still feel overtly nostalgic about those times. We all do. We still recall the midnight card games, junk food, assignment completions. We all go gushy over the times when one of us got the kick by a girl, or when one of us actually got to go out with one. We all laugh of the times when we goofed off in class and pulled pranks on each other.

Damn. There are so many things.

But I still think not a lot has changed about any of us. Maybe we're all the same as we always were. Sure we've got fat, slim, rich, poorer, stingy, whatever. But we are still the same with each other as we were. We still torment each other with the same lame topics as we did earlier. And we still like and hate the same things about each other. I guess that's what friendship's all about. Being the same, always.

Today, I plan to spend a lot of time revisiting the old college picture's folder.

Day 10 : Be Patient

It is quite interesting to see the lengths to which we go to salvage a situation. You know at the core of your being that it is not going to work out. The time for any rescue is way past. There is no way in Dante's hell there is going to be happy ending to this story. But all the while, knowing all that, you still try every trick you can think of to sort it all out.

Most often than not, it doesn't.

You go ahead give it your best shot anyway, but then realize that your best is just not good enough anymore. Things that used to come so easily to you in the past are just not working anymore. The spark is gone; you've lost your mojo. Well maybe you did not lose it. Maybe it's time has passed. Everything comes with an expiry date.

Still being the optimist you always were. You give it an extra try. And you fail. You give it another go. And you fail. But when you try once more and still fail again. You should be already starting to see that something is off.

Some things are supposed to get screwed up over time. Some things you are supposed to suck at. And once you lose it, it does not always come back to you all peachy and happy happy during the climax. Life is not Notting Hill. And you are by no measure Hugh Grant.

You see, the world is a mess. Chaos rules all of creation. And in all of this chaos if you think this one thing is any different. Buddy, you're a fool. You've been played by your own faith in a person's capacity of friendship.

The best you can do in this scenario is to just let burning timbers lie. Let it flames burn through high and angry. Because in the end, all that would be left of it is a pile of grey ash. This would eventually be swept away by the winds of time.

Today, be patient.

Day 4 : Your Virtues

Today's work goes here : Your Virtues