Day 12 : About Depression

The book I am reading right now is about a high school kid who is suffering from clinical depression. The writer of the book has taken a lot of effort to get the reader better understand the pain and hardship somebody suffering with this disease goes through. He really has been successful at it to an extent. There are parts in the book that would make you cringe, some would make you let out a nervous chuckle because you are not sure if something that horrendous could really even be possible. It is. There are some parts that would make you feel to darn sad and forlorn. This is not a happy book. There are parts where you begin to relate to the things writer is taking about. Parts that makes you think.

Depression.

This is the sort of thing that until recently would've been thought as a illness only inflicted upon the weak-minded. People were taught - if you are to be a successful and a respected member of the society, you have to lift yourself up by the bootstraps, keep you chin up, take the best along with the worst, keep the fight going. You know the sort of motivational mumbo-jumbo that they feed you when they get tired of your whining and have no constructive advice to give you. Nobody ever liked to get their hands dirty on somebody else's mess. Don't ask don't tell, didn't always apply to the gay-rights law they implemented in US armed forces. It used to be the norm when it came to many things that made people uneasy.

I am sure that people back then too got anxious and stressed about stuff. But my guess is that they probably had more gumption than us. They had deeper understanding between them. They were able to cope with it, because they were there to help each other when it counted. In today's world of too much, we don't have enough of that. Media, entertainment, gossip, work, pressure, greed, hate, love, anger, fear. Everything. We have lot of those. But people themselves haven't progressed with the pace in which the things around them have. Sometimes it gets a little too much for us. We all have a tipping point. Where our brains just decide that it cannot handle of this all the time. It simply just goes on a snooze. And it blames you for it. Which in turn makes us feel even more shitty.

I guess there is a term for what I am doing right now - Yellderly. But heck, it is the book talking not me. Not entirely.

I really do thing we take on too many stuff on our plates. It would be good to take a break from all of this. They have even started to have these zones in some cities of Europe where they promise to have no tech or internet signal. You just go there and sit and relax for a bit. Get away from everything. Doesn't that sound marvelous.

I guess that doesn't exactly fit the bill for what clinical depression exactly is all about. That's for the doctors to talk about. I feel that everyone has the possibility of being depressed in life at some point. Not everyone always has to face it. But then nobody is exempt from it either. Some do manage to cope with it by themselves. By the help of medication and therapy, or in the case of a lucky few, wonderful friends and family that help through it all. In the end, feeling alone is a lousy thing. And if you have a disease that makes you feel like you deserve to be sad and alone, it makes life all the more tough to handle.

I guess, what I am saying is, you are not alone. Not truly. Whoever it was that created us, created like billions of other people in here just to ensue that we are not alone. And if you just give it a chance, I am sure you will find at least a few people out there who you could relate with and who would hear you out and give you a friendly embrace.

Sometimes that is all that is needed. Listening to each other. Just talking to someone who care about you really does help. Unloading your worries. To know there there is at least on other person on this planet who knows you and the shit that you're going through. There really are such people. Always.

You are not alone.

Day 3 : Crossed 3000 views. Yay!

Yup, you read that right. This blog was viewed for the 3000th time last night.

I still remember the day when my other blog crossed 10000 views, and the fuss I made over that milestone. It took nearly four years to get there, so I did get a little too excited about it. Now in just two years Irony is nearing its 20000th mark. And this one didn't take half as much time to get to the 3K milestone. <surprised smiley>

These blogs to which frankly I haven't been very faithful with, are being read by even a two people is still surprising to me. All this is so very new to me, and so very humbling. Thank you all very much. And do drop by again, anytime.

We still have promises to keep, and miles to go before we sleep.

(such a dork.)

Day 78 : Ave Maria

I would never have realized the strength of resolve,
if not for that one man toiling in the sun's heat smashing rocks for his day's pennies.

I would never have realized the strength of kindred,
if not for his brother men who merrily shared each other's burden of rocks each day.

I would never have realized the strength of love,
if not for his wife who cleans and scrubs a dozen homes a day to earn some extra bread for her cubs.

I would never have realized the strength of grace,
if not for the crippled boy who drags his lame leg to school everyday with an erect poise.

I would never have realized the strength of kindness,
if not for the able bodied kids who would slow their gait to walk beside their crippled friend.

I would never have realized the strength of inspiration,
if not for the poorest of those kids who'd make up stories of grand scale to keep their discouraged minds distracted on those cold glum nights.

I would never have realized the strength of hope,
if not for the father of the poorest of kids who'd keep on working each day on the rocks, dreaming of his children living in one of those bright homes that reach for the twinkling stars.

~ ~ ~

Happy new year, everyone. Stay blessed!

Day 38 : Life In A Cubicle

Okay, I've opened my word processor now and thinking of what to write about. After all it’s been two days that I've posted something here, and that by definition violates the reason this space was made for.

So, let's see. The past two days have been pretty hectic. I mean more hectic than usual, obviously. Been working long hours in office, which isn't anything new, but for past two days actually experienced the workload. Damn, couldn’t have left my workstation for more than five minutes at a stretch.

The truth is, yes the burden of it all is overwhelming, still I am sort of actually enjoying the experience.

Whenever some colleague starts complaining how bad the situtation is, I sort of rewind to the time when I was a kid and heard the elders complain about how busy or tired they felt. Back then, being the little cauldrons of energy that we were, we never understood what they were crying over.

We always pictured our folks sitting at a desk punching numbers, shuffling papers and yelling to each other over telephones. At least that's what all the TV shows showed office life to be like. And we used to think we go to school, do all the study and activity there, come home, play sports with other kids in the block, fight with a few, and come home, do homework, eat vegetables and go to sleep only to wake up again the next day to repeat the same cycle all over again. What the heck were these grownups complaining about?

Now I sort of do realize how exhausting spending a better part of one's day in a cubicle can be. I mean what most of us do in a regular day's work still is just sitting on our butts all day and pushing keys on a keyboard. Most of us never even break a sweat in all the time that we are inside our air-conditioned cubicle. But at the end of the day, we feel just as drained as a coal miner coming home after a 12 hour shift.

I for one, abnormally, am actually enjoying it nonetheless.

Every new day there is something new to learn. Every new day something new has gone wrong. Every new day we fix it and bring order to chaos. (Some of these so-called calamities, are blown so out of proportion!)

Yes since I spend the majority of my day in office, my actual life is in limbo. But then that is not like a permanent thing ,right. I can always go back to being the animal that I was in college. Right?

I suppose that is just novelty/naivety talking. I am still only over a couple of years into this lifestyle so maybe the monotony of it all has not kicked in yet. Maybe it will all go scary for me too somewhere down the line. And it would be too late to salvage anything of our personal lives then. Hunh.

I hope I still have a few more good years in store for me. I really am enjoying myself right now.

(Minus the long hours)

Today, I hope to God I go home early.

Day 30 : Good Things Come To Those Who Wait For It.

When we were kids we were repeatedly preached that the best things in life come to those who work for it.

Then we came to learn, there are not many things in life that can be titled as "best". Even what we think is the best right now, might get replaced something shinier and attractive somewhere down the line. The "best" thing is only so perfect for us until it is the only thing that holds our attention, once something more interesting comes into our lives these things lose their glitter. And so - out of sight, out of mind.

Next we came to learn, there are a lot many things in life that won't be coming your way no matter how much you toil for it. Some things are simply always out of our reach. It stays dangling there like a carrot in front of a rabbit, and we are destined to eternally race towards it. We'd be so much better off not dreaming about these things, no matter how desirable they may be. Because more sorrow is caused by these things that we desire, than those that we deserve.

This should be a good point as any to insert my take on this:

Good things come to those who wait for it.

There is nothing more important in a person's life than having that feeling at least once in their lifetime that they've finally accomplished something worthwhile in their life. I think that is what we all live for, to die knowing that when we finally shed our mortal coil, we leave behind something for our fellow men to remember us by. Nobody likes to be forgotten.

But when you come to think of it, there are around 7.3 Billion people on this planet right now. There must have been probably a similar number of people passed through this planet since the dawn of time. How many names of these people do you know? Okay to make it more practical, let's assign each person on this planet to write down all the people they could think of, historical, blood relatives, that-guy-who-brought-the-milk, anyone. Do you think if we combined this humongous list together we would be able to find every man or woman, or others, ever lived on this planet?

Probably not.

So what is the point? What is the whole point of your planning, backstabbing, scheming and conniving your way into the history books? What is the whole point of competing with the guy next to you to achieve that something that given time would be easily forgotten?

Sure you will be remembered today, tomorrow, even for a couple of dozen years after you die. Does that really mean that much a big of an accomplishment?

I don't know. I think the best that we can hope for is do good by the people around us - the people whose lives matter to us and to whom our lives really do matter. During our own frigging lifetimes. Once I do pass away, I don't think I will really know if someone spells my name wrong, or if someone spreads the rumor that I listened to Justin Bieber. Frankly my dear, I don't think I would give a damn.

Our lives are really quite amazing. And if you are reading this, it would be safe to assume that you earn enough to have a computer or mobile phone with Internet access. There are people much worse than you. Yes, like people who do not have a Facebook account. So be grateful that you have a better life.

Instead of complaining and whining all day about not having that special thing that you worked so hard for such a long time; why don't you take your folks out for a dinner tonight? Or simply order in a Pizza, rent a movie and veg out in front of the television with you arms around a loved one. In the end, these are the only people who are going to think of you the longest and remember you for what you truly are. Love them, and cherish them with all your heart. They matter.

Today, make plans for doing something special. And actually do it.

Day 27 - 28 : Queen of Spades and the Faint of Hearts

Today's work goes here - Queen of Spades and the Faint of Hearts

Day 16 : Under Pressure

I know a lot many of us sometimes spend an obscene amount of time on self-contemplation and self-doubt. Half of the time when we go down this road we end up being more disheartened than we started with. Who wants to live forever in that maze of messed up psyche.

I suppose that should hold true for all of Bohemians. After all the things that we think of most is not of what we had done, but what we had not done. We put ourselves down so bad that we are incapable of thinking ourselves are able bodies to do anything. So we go in following the herd doing things halfheartedly and with the same mimic mentality that original herd-beings live by.

We are not cattle. We are the champions. We are not meant to just follow the lead. If it were so, I don't think would've ever found civilization to begin with. I think all our actions must define our personality. If something that we do feels out of character to us, it is probably because it really is and we'd be better by just getting rid of it. The best way to do that is by following one simple rule.

"Nothing you do matter, if you are not doing it for the right reasons!"

I know we do a bunch of things in our daily lives to keep the people in our lives happy. And to keep free from controversy and unwanted hassle. But do you think that actually helps anything? You'll never actually put yourself into it. You'll suck at it. You'll feel miserable about it. The person you're doing it for, gets a half-baked effort from you and is disappointed at you. You feel all the more miserable it. So in the end, what you get is your equation with someone is now much worse than what it was when you begin with. In the end everyone bites the dust going this road.

Don't get me wrong. Everything in life, everything, is about people. The 'somebody' you love. The people you like. The people you hate. The people you are jealous of. The people you think you are superior to. The people you look up to. The people whom you'd like to protect. The people who you'd like to strangle. Life is all about the people in it. And every aspect of your life revolves around what you do for and with these people.

In the end what really matters is, you yourself. You have to have the heart in the right place. You need to have to be able to do things, say things, feel things just the way you want to and at the pace you'd like to. Don't ever let anyone pressure you into something you're not ever comfortable with. Be free.

Today, I want to break free.

(Yes, today’s post is filled with a lot of Queen references!)

Day 15 : War of the Words

I've been watching old episodes of Scrubs of late. It's really funny, in a lame dorky sort of way. But I like it.

And the JD inner-monologue thing is totally relatable. I think we all do that. Maybe it is just me; I hope that did make it seem like me saying I hear voices inside my head. I do not. Most of the time.

Anyhow. I sometimes have this inner monologue with myself, most of these happen when I am especially pissed off at somebody or did some extremely embarrassing. I play it around inside my head, cursing myself over it, or thinking up of smart things I could've said to bring in a strong comeback line.

Alas, always after the moment has been passed. Funny, how none of these wit and spunk actually was around when I was in between the argument itself. So many wars would've been tilted to your truly's favor.

We all seem so smart and intelligent inside our heads, with all of our personality and charm at its best. I wonder if it gets lost in its way from our brain to our mouth. I think there must to be some sort of directions/sign-posts all along the way, which out our wit just conveniently ignores and we end up paying the price by embarrassing ourselves.

I remember at least half a dozen incidents since my wee-lad age where I stood there stumped and looking like a buffoon. Only a couple of minutes after the moment had passed finally figuring out the one-liner that would have been the perfect come back.

Well today was one of those days when I actually did that. Even the liners that I cooked up inside my head after the squabble did not come close to the scar that my original one hit home with my opponent. And yes, no matter what you may think of it, I am proud of that. This sort of success doesn't come daily to Mr. Nice Guy.

Today, was fun.

Day 14 : The Paper Presentation

I knew this girl when I was in Chennai. She worked in her parent’s tea shop near the neighborhood where I stayed. It was during the first weeks of my moving there so this establishment was the only one familiar to us and we used to frequent it each night post dinner - me for hot cup of masala tea, others to puff their post-supper cancer-sticks.

The store was run by a Telugu family. I hadn't heard the language a lot before coming to Chennai so had to use a mix of Tamil and body language to get them to understand what we wanted, they didn't speak much of Tamil either. But since this had become more of a routine for me, and I had ended up becoming their regular customer and was was beginning to get a hang of their language and these people itself.

The girl I mentioned earlier was in her early teens, fifteen I'd guess. But she looked and behaved like someone who was much older. She had the grace and confidence of someone who knew exactly what's on her mind and how to express it. And was never embarrassed that she didn't know the language she was trying to communicate it. I thought accomplishing all that was a big feat, as most of the southies I meant in my time here were really shy when it came to communicating. She was in some distance professional education I don't remember which. And by the looks of it, she was pretty serious about it.

One night out of the blue, her father came up to me while having tea. He looked like he wanted to speak to me, but was unsure of how. So he simply handed over a pamphlet to me he was carrying for me. There was "Paper Presentation" written in bold italics at the top. It was an advert for an inter-collegiate technical paper presentation competition in a local Chennai university. Apparently he thought his daughter wished to enroll in it. So I took it from him and went over to his daughter who as usual was seated at the cash counter.

She took once glance at pamphlet, and the look on her face said clearly how sad the sight of it made her. "I no go, no money for printout", her reply was barely a mumble.

Then I somehow asked her about the topic that she was thinking of presenting. It was about some sort of cleansing process that reprocesses domestic household waste water for agricultural use. She had already prepared clippings from her textbooks and some Xerox pages from library books. It was almost all done really, just needed to get it all put together on a document. It was a Friday anyway and it was only a little past 8 at night and I didn't have anything else going for me. So I thought, what the hell. Let's do this.

I got her to carry her pen-drive and materials to a nearby internet cafe. I asked her to sit with me and recite the whole paper. Within a couple of hours the whole thing was done. It was not more than 25 pages really. Not too much of a worry.

I got it printed, spiral-bound and gave it to her and sent her on her way saying I had some of my stuff to do online. A few minutes after she had left, I got up and went over to the counter, the guy just asked for Rs.213, which is less than what I'd spend on a McChicken burger. But somehow this felt a lot more satisfying.

She didn't win the presentation, yes. But she'd win one on her third try, which was just a couple of month later. She learnt fast.

Today, I added her on Facebook. We chatted for a little while. She has completed her course and is now working in a university in south Tamil Nadu as a research lab assistant. Her English has gotten much better. She even used a word that was new to me - abeyance. Normally that would make me kick myself. But today I sort of felt pretty proud of her. Good going, kid!

Day 11 : Creatures Of Routine

There is this song I heard recently. I am not sure who shared it, or from where I got it. Do beware it is not all that great a song to write home about (or a blog about). A couple of lines from it did stick with me though.

Judge them not by their beliefs,

The creatures of routine are lost without their guide;

Be aware that underneath,

Lies a longing left forgotten under fear and pride.

Today I had a sudden urge to Google it up, hated most of the band pictures. Never liked punk. But still I liked the first verse of the song. Sounds pretty accurate don’t it.

We are all creatures of routine. We are all guided by the comfort that we feel in following the same stride we've had for ages now. We don’t really plan on changing anything anytime soon. Because we like the way things are now, it is good because it is familiar. Some things we are really not very happy about in our lives stay with us because we are afraid to break the chain of familiarity. If we decide to get rid of this thing, we will have to face with the burden of choice again.

And no one likes to be the one who takes the wrong choices.

The ways our lives are led are really ours to mould. We are the creators of our destiny; yes I read that in some newspaper commercial. But that doesn't make it any less true. We have the choice to build a wonderful life for ourselves and the only think stopping us is ourselves.

I don't imagine it is going to be any easy for anybody to just go up and rid their lives of everything wrong in it that has stayed on just because we are used to it. A vice that has become a daily habit is much tougher to get out of than some acquired as a passing phase. Ask the guys at the rehab centers if you don't agree.

We are all creatures of routine. Afraid of our own shadows just because it shows us just what we are. We are shapeless pointless things in the immense width of creation around us. Just a speck of dust in the grand scale of things. A shadow cannot decide what shape it would take. The way a light falls or the distance and many a bunch of other stuff decide things for it. Just as us.

We are all creatures with very less choice of what we get in life. The best we can hope to do is to build something worthwhile with what we have. That is really not going to happen if we are stuck in loop like a tape recorder, doing the same things again and again; and playing to the same music again and again.

Today, I would like to add some jazz and folk and Spanish guitar to my playlist.

Today, I would like to try something new.

Day 10 : Be Patient

It is quite interesting to see the lengths to which we go to salvage a situation. You know at the core of your being that it is not going to work out. The time for any rescue is way past. There is no way in Dante's hell there is going to be happy ending to this story. But all the while, knowing all that, you still try every trick you can think of to sort it all out.

Most often than not, it doesn't.

You go ahead give it your best shot anyway, but then realize that your best is just not good enough anymore. Things that used to come so easily to you in the past are just not working anymore. The spark is gone; you've lost your mojo. Well maybe you did not lose it. Maybe it's time has passed. Everything comes with an expiry date.

Still being the optimist you always were. You give it an extra try. And you fail. You give it another go. And you fail. But when you try once more and still fail again. You should be already starting to see that something is off.

Some things are supposed to get screwed up over time. Some things you are supposed to suck at. And once you lose it, it does not always come back to you all peachy and happy happy during the climax. Life is not Notting Hill. And you are by no measure Hugh Grant.

You see, the world is a mess. Chaos rules all of creation. And in all of this chaos if you think this one thing is any different. Buddy, you're a fool. You've been played by your own faith in a person's capacity of friendship.

The best you can do in this scenario is to just let burning timbers lie. Let it flames burn through high and angry. Because in the end, all that would be left of it is a pile of grey ash. This would eventually be swept away by the winds of time.

Today, be patient.

Day 9 : I Opened A Textbook

Finally opened the textbook today. And I have not opened one since college. 'Twas surreal.

Sure I read books all the time. In that sense, currently I am reading Angel of Death by Higgins. But unless Sean Dillon goes ahead and discusses SQL query to transpose rows into column without using CASE WHEN, this book cannot really be called a textbook. Textbooks are basically a big boring book with a lot of pages, written in dreary language and occasional grammatical mistakes, every step of everything detailed out in even the tiniest of details. That does make it sound a lot like 50 Shades doesn't it?

Anyhow. Here I am with an open textbook in front of me again. The last time I ever opened one was a Mathematics one, filled with equations and calculus. I hated it. This is one about a SQL primer course. And I sort of like it. I think it’s because now the book that I've taken up was of interest to me, and maybe something that I would actually like to learn more about. Of my choosing.

If you know anything about the education system in India, you would know this much - the student never has a say in anything.

In any and every education up until Post Grad. The only choice you can ever take up is - engineering or doctor, biology or computers. Sure there are a bunch of others Bachelors/Masters studies available out there. But if you are from the middle class and have shown even an iota of brains during schooling, you are forced in either of these paths. Nothing else is even an option for you. Most of us choose engineering, because let’s be honest about it, medicine is a serious/tedious business. (Couple of years working in IT has taught me, our lives aren’t all that peachy either.)

Your choices when you do get into engineering are also pretty limited. You have mostly four - mechanical, computer science, electrical, IT. I still honestly think the Mech guys are the real engineers; at least they end up creating something that they can actually hold and say "I made this". IT/CS, even some ECE guys are just service guys without that sort of ownership privilege.

I personally know hundreds of folks from my college alone, out of which I can name just a handful of them who is actually doing something of worth, related to what we were taught in college. And from them only one is from CSE/IT. What most of us do now in their day jobs is a long way different from what we were taught in school. Sure the basic stuff is the same. But the application is poles apart. It might sound apples and oranges, but I really think if given a choice/exposure back then. There are a lot of things I could have kick started doing early in my career.

All that is gibberish I know. I tend to ramble when I am in the vicinity of technical documentation. Anyone who has attended an engineering exam knows this. You could ramble on about anything to get that 10-points answer right.

I remember preparing for exams, one month Prep Leave, one month of long exams cycle with bunch of gaps between papers. Searching of textbooks and class notes at the last moment. Put off the actual preparation up until the last couple weeks and sleep through all the previous ones. Spend hours just hanging out with friends, playing cards all day. Wake up at midnight, to drink team and biscuits from Hostel canteen. Damn I feel way too nostalgic right now.

Today, I think there will be a lot more of that than any real learning.

Day 8 : Growing Up Sucks

We all knew a great many men. From books, and novels, and ballads, and movies, and documentaries, and songs, and poems. History is made up of great men and great deeds. Great men are the main characters and leads in all of the great stories we read/see. And every great man (or woman, to be politically accurate) has something in common. They are good. 

Every great hero in every great tale is basically good guy. A person, we are taught to look up to, and respect, and awe, and swoon over. He should be smart, and handsome ,and charming, and witty, and strong, and just. But then imagine a world where every man is a hero. Everywhere we go we see tall guys in impeccable suits and diction, saying all the right words and doing all the right deeds. What boring world it would be.

I suppose others apart from me also thought the same. That how James Cagney, and Tony Soprano, and Walter White, and Pran came into being. These were the anti-heroes, and we seem to be living in the era of bad guys. An era where in being an A-hole is cool. An era, if you are not a badass or be a prick towards every (weaker) person that comes your way, you are not considered a man. At least not a man worth a damn.

I've seen a lot of people now treat each other like dirt. Even total strangers. We are overtly hostile to one another. We are closed off. Hidden behind the high walls we build around ourselves. I don't see a lot many men hugging each other by the shoulders or punching each other’s heads together in glee. We have lost our ease of touch. 

I remember having that up until when I was in college. I was comfortable with myself and with people around myself. And when college ended, something changed. Don't exactly know what, but something did. I noticed the same with people around me as well. We lost something very precious that day. They say this was growing up. Sad.

If growing up really was shackling your comfort with the outside world. I really am officially fed of being a grown up then. The responsibilities and duties should not really be meant to chain our personality. I would suppose its job is to make us better men by teaching us to overcome the burdens of your ever complicating lives. To make us well equipped to fend for ourselves and for those we love. Growing up should not also come with you becoming a shitty person.

I liked the way I was. I imagine most people did as well. That guy should make a comeback in this story don't you think?

Today, I think he has a fair chance of doing just that. 

Day 7 : I Want To Have A Fight

Let’s see. What shall we talk about today? Umm, did I tell you about the last time I got into a fight? An actual come-what-may, all-hell-loose fist fight? No?

Well I'll tell you why, because I haven't had one yet!

Isn't that a shame? I mean I have had been in some brawls and fights yes, but never actually an all out gritty dirty ones like they show in movies. Sad.

But then, when you come to think of it who has now-a-days. We are all too 'civilized', our conflicts don't always include broken bones and twisted limbs. Sure most of us know people who have done such things. People with a violent streak who lash out at other fellow earthlings at the very least of provocations. I know such a guy from Gurgaon with such inclinations. He is famous within the my group to be the first to throw a punch at someone, most of the time out of sheer spite. We worry about him at times obviously, given his puny stature but we had long back decided taming him was a lost cause.

One my friend thinks I maybe didn't get to have this pleasure so far given my own stature. Yes, I do agree I am a big guy and stand even a head taller than most people I know. Maybe that's the reason I've never really been graced with a real challenge. Nobody likes bruises.

I can understand if that sounded a little too pompous and gallant. Just a thought though. I mean, I read everywhere how the world is a dangerous place now. Evil and violence lurks at every corner. I just fail to see where the violence is. People are still timid and tamed. People still argue/yell to make their point to win disagreements.

Maybe I have been lucky enough to not know violence much. Maybe my own violence has been packed away someplace.

Today, I would like to punch a wall. Really punch it.

Day 6 : Cherish Them

Sometimes I wonder why things end up the way they do. 

Don’t get me wrong, this is not one of those sad mopey days. I am actually wondering now about the good things. How come they end up the way they do? If I count the things in my life right now which I think are amongst the good things that has ever happened to me over the years. Not even a handful of them are things that came about to existence by my wits or brawn. They were/are things that are completely out of my control, things that could have went any which way, for any number of reasons.

But still they did not. And I today have these little gems with me to call my own. 

I wonder. When the good things that happen to us, seem to happen in such unruly unpredictable manner; can't we say the same about our misfortunes? I mean, yes, we all think about the ills of the past and imagine "if only.." "What if?" "Why me?". Like it all happened because of us, because of some action we took, or didn’t take.

We are to blame!

Are we?

Sure the riches you earn requires you put in your effort and use your skills. The love you acquire needs a decent amount of emotional investment from your side and whole lot of patience. But in the end, couldn't these things have gone the other way just as easily given the wrong situations or sheer trickery of luck?

I think I am lucky to have a great many such things in life. I am grateful for them. And thus I fear and respect them. These good things could be snatched away from me just as easily as were bestowed upon me.

Today, I shall cherish them. 

Day 4 : Your Virtues

Today's work goes here : Your Virtues