Day 26 : Success

Entitlement - it can be most easily defined as the feeling that somebody has that he should get everything that he desires, just by virtue of his desiring it.

This is something that we see a lot in people these days. People just expect for good things to miraculously happen to them. We are so narcissistic in our belief that our life is so star-studded awesome that all good things just have to come our way. We deserve every single happy thing that exists in this universe. You can be the biggest the laziest douchebag the world has ever known, but you will always expect your life to turn up like one of those feel-good movies. You sit on your ass all day, never even pretending to actually make an effort. But in the end, you always expect for your life to have the happy ending that all those famous people have.

I blame them stories that we are told when we are young. We read a three page article on how this guy became the next Mark Zuckerberg, but never really get to read the three hundred page chapter of what he had to do and sacrifice to get to become that. We see them successful people in Silicon Valley, or The Social Network, or Pirates.. , or Wall Street and we just get to thinking that to be successful the basic criteria that you check out is that you have to be smart and selfish and you definitely have to be a dick. If you each of  those, that's about it. All of the other stuff just falls into place. Nahhh.

One other theme in all of them stories is how those successful people in the end find themselves at the top of the mountain only to find that there is no one really around them to celebrate their success with. They are at the pinnacle of success but nobody who is close enough to them to give them a hug and a pat on their back to say, 'dude, you made it.' Now, you would say, that guy has millions for dollars laying around, do you think he even cares he has people around him. He can probably pay for random people to come to him and pat his back or even write a epic ballad singing his praises. He is frigging millionaire. He can do as he damn well pleases. Well, I guess he can.

But I also think all of us have this deep-set need to validated by the people we care for. We are not as insulated from our own feelings as we like to think. We may pretend to be the sarcastic cold hearted hipster jerks we are. However, we are all mush inside. And our feelings are the true chinks in our armors. But I just don't think that is our weakness really, that is mostly what makes our success more worthwhile. Being able to celebrate and share our success with people dear to us makes it more special.

Don't seclude yourself. Don't shed yourself of people close to you. They are not a burden. They are probably the things that would provide you with the crucial incentive to go through with that final push towards glory.

Day 65 : Nothing Important

I am reading Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King right now. Pretty good book with the usual King-ness to it; quirky, weird and whole lot unnerving. But this post is not to be a book review that is to come later.

I am pretty sure about my vocabulary depth. But every once in a while whenever I am reading a book I come across a word that throws me off balance. Mostly I try to guess it based on the context but sometimes the word is so mysterious there is no hint at what it means. That happens mostly while reading anything by Dan Brown, that guy must sit with a freaking thesaurus while writing most of his mysterious words are also of the most rarely used breed. Our King does the same as well, but his 'new' words are usually in context and once you look up its meaning you cannot think of any more conventional word that could take its place.

Today's word -

Alacrity /əˈlakrədē/ (noun)

A brisk and cheerful readiness.

That's a rather beautiful word, isn't it? Even saying it out loud gives a little jump in your decibels. It really does do justice to the notion it is supposed to stand for. I sort of do think I need to change my Twitter handle and self-bio everywhere else now. This word does seem apt. I must be alacritous about every damn thing on this planet.

Today we were in this conference call with a bunch of folks from work, vendors and client analysts. Usual project health analysis and stuff. Blah blah. The light goes dim, the presentation starts. The same PowerPoint goes up on everybody's screen that’s joined the meeting from home. In between somebody pings on my mobile from within the room, a colleague asking anybody up to skip the meeting halfway? Who do you think was the first person out? Yours truly.

(Only one other skipped with me though, the rest - traitors)

Anyway. This was a completely pointless post about a WORD. There you go. Now you know how bored I am right now.

(Except Mr. Mercedes of course. This one is bloody brilliant!)

Day 59 : Work Life Balance

For past few days I've been having my morning tea at office with some newer colleagues of mine. People who have joined the company recently. Senior folks who've had a lot experience in bunch of other establishments and somehow now find themselves in the next cubicle with a secret stash of Game of Thrones mugs and posters in one of his desk drawers. 

I like mingling at work, that's one of the good things about me, I am sort of proud of the fact that I know most of the people in my floor by name and shoulder fists. And they have same of me. So undoubtedly I talk to all the new folks, find something we have in common so that when we happen to stand close at the Men's there are no awkward silences while we both try our best to look straight at the wall in front of us.

Today while having tea and breakfast with these folks, a topic that started with getting smart about financial investment went on into past girlfriends in college, to wave boarding, and finally to work-life balance in all of their previous companies. I agree those are quite a lot of tangents in a 30 minute conversation. Well you are bound to have a lot of those when you are in conversation with me.

Anyways, apparently this has been a major deciding factor for all of these folks while switching companies. They all have had at least own rotten experience in their life where they've had to spend more time in office than at home, something they all despised, and having going almost broke paying medical bills for stress and exhaustion related ailments. Most of these men are at least a decade older than me. So most of their part of the conversation involves them lecturing sage words of wisdom about work in IT life. I really don't mind any of it, honestly. I actually do enjoy listening to stories of other people. It makes people very personal and relatable. I like that.

There was one person who used to work in a Dot Com start up back in the 2000's when it was in its last throes of glory. Back when a sites' success was not based on the shock value or media buys. Not every website had to sell-out to be a success. He seemed to be passionate about it, a lot more than he is about his work now. Well he has been into this for over 15 years; I guess the heat wears off in time. He likens his time at the startup to the time in every relationship when the romance has just started and you've just begun shacking it up. You are discovering new things about each others. Each part is a mystery, and you enjoy solving the mysteries. Both about her and about you. But soon the pace tires you out. You are beat and breathless. The passion weans out. And you begin to think to cut loose before things get a lot worse for you. You quit/breakup.

There was another person who used to work in a hardcore tech environment. His company used to develop software for various industries to manage their invoice and inventory system. All very complex and technical. Highly crucial and high profile stuff. Very stressful, a lot of money was on the line to afford to goof things up. He worked there for 5 years. Had to be hospitalized twice, destroyed his relationship with a long time girlfriend and now has nothing but a car a lifelong heart disease to show for it. The sad part was that he never realized things were that bad when he was there. There was no epiphany, or a moment of clarity where he came to realize how this one job was dragging his life into the gutter and he quit. The fact was that he was laid off during the recession. He gave up all the good parts for this company and it gave him up for a newer and a much younger prey. I think he hated that part the most.

There was another guy who used to work in the IT department of a banking firm. He seemed to have a much more relaxed work life. A bit too relaxed as matter of fact. He worked there for eight years. He was in his twenties when he joined right out of college, smart and energetic. Also very young. So he obviously enjoyed all the free time. He used to leave work soon while all of his buddies were still toiling away at their desks. He had a lot of time for himself. And he spent most of it high on booze and "playing the field" (I know. That's exactly what he said!). He spent all of his 20's like that. Got married when he was 31, arranged by his parents. Now has a kid. Has a job that doesn't really pay as much as what his experience and role might usually get him. All because he spent a little too much time goofing around while his mates were able to work long and learn more, what he learned in his previous company is now obsolete. Now he says he is too old learn new stuff. And he has a family to support now, he cannot risk with a lower paying job and start from the ground level again. He has to take what he gets.

Yes. That was my early morning breakfast conversation. Delightful isn't it.

Today, I need to find a lesser depressing crowd to hang out with for lunch at least.

Day 35 : Office Romances

If you've read my last post you already know how much I love public transportation. Mainly because there is  always a good chance that you'll get to witness something interesting. Today was one of them.

Today is Monday. And as is it is with a majority of people on this planet, I hate this day. It means the end of a two day's rest and the beginning of another grueling week at work. Today's commute promised to be just like that. Another start of the week where I try to recollect what was the situation in office on Friday, did I keep any time-bombs laying around that would've now exploded all over my inbox via mails over the weekend. This hasn't ever happened yet, but I always come to work on Monday with almost as much dread as despise.

I was having an inner monologue regarding it with myself like JD from Scrubs, about the how the little things scare us so much in life when I realized the train had almost reached my station. I got up to get near the exit. I was so engrossed in my conversation with myself inside my head that I didn't notice that some people around me were staring my way. I looked this way and that way, everyone really was looking at me. Was I talking out loud?

That's when I noticed that they weren't actually gawking at me but to the people standing behind me. A guy and a girl. The guy was tall and buffed up. The girl by the looks of it a Punjaban, umm a guy can always tell. They both looked very familiar. But since they were standing just behind me I didn’t have a good look. I couldn't just turn around and outright stare at time like a pervert. I’d wait till I got off the train.

All the time that I was conscious of them, I was also aware that they were arguing. The girl was talking mostly. And I sensed the reason that people were staring at her was not just because she was hot. But also because that she was verbally abusing the guy. Even I was impressed by the way she was describing various parts of the guy's anatomy. While the guy just stood there grinding his teeth, trying his best not to lash out at her. I am sure many in the compartment, had made silent bets with themselves that he will be losing it very soon if this went on another few minutes.

But in a few minutes we all got down the station and everyone went in their separate ways. I could still see people turning around repeatedly, or walking slow to catch some more of the couples spat. Apparently they were working at the same office complex as my company so it was easier for me to stay within earshot to them. Sorry, some gossips are just irresistible.

By the time we got out the station and crossed the road, their conflict had died out and they both got silent. In the beginning they were walking along side each other, if only to be able to fight better. But now, since they had become largely aware of the people around them enjoying themselves with their early morning soap drama. They became silent and started walking apart from each other. The guy walked brisk and ahead of her, while the girl got her earphones out of her handbag and put them on walking a few paces behind him.

This went on all along the way till the entrance of our office complex. I had by this time, restarted the music in my own earphones that I had paused in the train while listening to their argument. I walked along the sidewalk shuffling music and had nearly forgotten the couple by the time I reached my office building. I looked up, and there they were. The guy still walking fast, the girl still a few steps behind now speaking to someone on her phone. They worked in the same company as me. Now I realized why they looked so familiar, they were teammates with one of my friends. Interesting.

Then it got more interesting. When the time came to get into the elevators to go to our respective floors the girl skipped two shuttles to avoid getting into the same elevator as the guy. Maybe she thought getting into such close confines with someone when you're as mad as at him as right now, is not a good idea. Incidentally I got into the same elevator as she did. The ride  as usual was silent, everyone busy with their own mobile phones and thoughts. But my attention was secretly directed to the girl throughout. She was sobbing a little, shivering all over, her skin white as sheet. She really was upset.

When the lift opened up at the floor she worked in, she only realized it to get out at the last moment. On the other side of the lobby, I could see the guy also just getting into the same lobby. Well, they both did work in the same team remember. This day was going to be very tormenting to them. Must be very uncomfortable, sitting near someone with whom you have so much baggage.

I don't know what their story is. But just to be conventional, let's just assume they were a couple. They just had a fight. Hopefully just a small one which’ll get fixed in a couple of days. But what if it didn't? What if they split up? Well they did work on the same floor, probably sat close to each other. They’ll inevitably rub shoulders with the same set of people. They’ll probably cause more awkward situations with their colleagues, over whose parties to attend. It is always tough to choose which friend to stand by post a break-up.

They will not even be able to work together properly. Their boss is going to have a lot many unforeseen complications coming his way. Good luck, guy.

Damn, this really is heavy.

Today, I think office romance is worse than what it is made up to be.

Day 17 : Mr. Mopey Vs Mr. Cheery

Things have a way of coming around to to bite you in the butt sometimes.

I remember this one guy from work that had a serious inferiority complex with respect to another co-worker. Both came from the same town, same university, both even looked the same - short and stout, similar family background, drawing similar paycheck each month, working on same technology. The only difference one was a really cheery happy-go-lucky guy and everyone's fav guy. The other was sullen and silent, that guy in every group picture who's too shy/pompous to smile for the camera. You can never make up your mind whether you like him or not.

The sullen guy, we'll call Mopey, puts in extra hours at work does all the tasks on time, even earlier than most. Rarely gets up from his seat even for tea breaks, when he does he always goes alone. 

The smiley guy, we'll call Cheery, rarely stayed overtime, went for tea breaks and lunch like clockwork with a big group of colleagues, and still gets his work done by the end of the day. 

The only difference here was when people here knew who Cheery was; they just tend to think Mopey was part the office furniture.

Mopey didn't like it one bit. He tries, by God does he try. But I guess its just the way some people are and there is just no changing what’s in their nature no matter how much they themselves want to. He tries to speak with co-workers, opening up to people about him selves, trying to listen what they did over the weekend or when they crib about how the client is over-working them or how their wives are being a big nag-machine of late.

But he soon gets tired of all the talk. His mind drifts off to someplace else, and starts taking glances at his mobile screen checking out the time and everyone knows he is not listening to single word what they are saying.

That's where Cheery really trumps, he listens. He knows everyone's story. He knows whose relationship sucks, he knows who is dating who at work, and he even knows if someone likes books or shoes better as a birthday gift.

As a little getting back for being so awesome, Mopey pulled a nasty trick on Cheery last week. He overheard someone speaking to Cheery in the cafeteria, sitting on the next table to him while he was on his lonesome as usual. He came to know of some little secret about this someone, who was only comfortable sharing it with Cheery here. Mopey spread the little tidbit around office. He was real sly about it as well, proud of his own genius.

Well it worked it seemed. This someone and Cheery had big falling out, everyone started to wonder if Cheery could really keep a secret. Cheery started to lose his shine.

Mopey forgot one little detail. He doesn't talk to people much. When he does, the other guy remembers the conversation pretty well. And everyone was much better friends with Cheery than to him. The story un-puzzled itself before the work-week as up. Everyone now knew how Mopey was the real culprit. And now everyone is farther away from Mopey, and closer with Cheery as ever. All was right again in the universe.

Lesson to be learnt - before entering a game you don't know the rules to, ensure that at least you have you butt covered in case of a backfire.

Today, was conspiratorially enlightening.

Day 12 : Workaholic

I am not sure if you, who are reading this, are already in my daily good-morning mailer list or not. If you are you might've already seen the above picture in my today's mail, and if not I'd really like it if you’d send me you personal id so that I can add you to my list! :)

Anyhoo. The reason that this picture got to be here is that A: I was feeling too lazy today to think up something interesting to write about; B: Damn, this one does feel so true!

Every person I see these days, no matter what sort of job they are doing are workaholics or are slowly and surely on their path to become one. Everyone is in a hurry be the big dog of the park that we all are too invested in our professional lives than the life that we have outside of it.

Our personal life takes a drastic hit. I mean just look at it. The image does say 8 hours. But I don't remember the last day I've comfortably worked just that much hours. I don't think many people in Indian IT market have. There's is always more work to be completed and not enough work hours in the day to do them. So we take the work home, with friends, with family and everywhere else that we are supposed to be with anything but timelines and deliverables running through your head!

And all for what? For some promotions to a position in which you will have more responsibilities to shoulder and longer hours to put in. The work is not going to get any lesser, and you're not going to get any younger. Sure you will work your butt off each day, put in all of your skills and brains into what you are doing. And why shouldn't you. Most people like to be good at what they are doing. But the things that you are going to able to do now, when you are twenty-something, will not be available for you when you are a thirty-something with that couple of promotions under your belt and a family of yourself to feed.

What you can do now. You can only do now.

Today, I would like to do at least one of them.