I am at that point in life when a lot of my friends are either engaged, hitched, or expecting children. Every time I go on social media I can always see something posted up by friends making what they hope to be a big social-media announcement. It has happened so often now, even the auto-correct on my phone has started prompting Congratulations as soon as I start typing any word starting with a C. And let me tell you, it didn't always suggest that specific C word for me use while replying to something on social media. Little things like that would make you think about the choices that you've made in life, y'know?
Anyways, I've recently discovered one of my college friends had become father to two (how could they possibly be so tiny?) twin daughters. He is not the first of my friends to become a parent. But his newborns were twins, which was something new, and also he never was the kind of guy that you'd ever picture to be of the fatherly kind. I suppose all of us would one day come to this phase in life. But there are always those few who you'd always expect not to procreate. Those who are not exactly naturally caring. The thought is a downer yes. But then parenting is not a kind of thing where you get to have a do-over. You have to get it right every darn time. You are responsible for the upbringing for a little human being, and all the other offspring that would come after him/her.
Most people I'd guess just end up teaching themselves to be good parents. There is really any specific rules written for it. Well, I guess there are. Mostly I think if you manage to get your spawn to not die till he gets a job, you're good. And also ensure he doesn't become a mass murderer or a sarcastic hipster-jerk. Yeah that's crucial.
Our parents had it easy. They had us in an age when we had to go through a lot of trouble to figure out the bad stuff for ourselves. Not everything was available to everybody at the click of a button. Even middle-schoolers carry around iPads and smartphones. Just googling, "How to be a serial killer" would give them like 29 million results. Trust me, I tried. That sort of scares me a little. How could anyone even think of bringing another soul into this sad mucus of a planet.
Everything is shitty. Everyone is crappy about everything. Every news you every about on the media is about how the world is on its final violent death rattle. Why would you want to bring another kid into the mix? Especially when you would be ethically and legally bound to take care of the little brat?
You sit and spend time thinking of all that. You begin to become cynical of everything and everyone. You begin to feel sorry for the kids being born everyday. They are going to have a lousy future in store for them, just because their parents couldn't keep their hands off of each other. You yourself though spend your time going through the motions of being a normal human-being, trying not to seem as scared shitless as you are. Being a normal human involves you visiting the new kids borne by your friends in the hospital. You congratulate the father on his accomplishment (?). You compliment the mother she did well, and that she looks beautiful and glowing. Then you dutifully go over to the crib where the special guest of the day is half asleep comfortably bundled in her many soft blankets.
You look at this little tiny living thing. You barely detect it breathing. You are slightly doubtful if it is even alive. Then its eyes open just slightly, as if it detected your doubting her mere existence. Then her lips spread out slightly into what looks like smile. (Does she even know what a smile is?) She stretches her limbs within the blankets, snuggling into herself, getting comfortable in her crib. Her eyes open wider and she looks directly at you. You feel goosebumps all over you. She notices you. This little amazing creature has got you into her eyesight. And that is a weird feeling. It seems like she can see directly within you. She sees you for all that you are. Her lips again part to give that expression you associate with a smile. But it is way more than that. It is like her acknowledgement that you exist. Her way of saying, "I see you, and I approve of you." That somehow seems like the biggest acclamation you've received all your life.
You wish to move your hands. You wish to touch her. You want to feel her soft sweet-smelling skin with your fingers. But you are afraid you might hurt her. She seems so fragile and precious. You look down smiling back at her. Watch her for another moment while she shuts her eyes again and drifts off to whatever world babies visit in their sleep.
You turn around say your friends a brisk goodbye and leave the hospital. You discover that you like kids. And that feeling you felt when the baby smiled back at you, is the reason people always wanted to become parents. And when do, you will do everything humanly possible to not much it up. You will be the best parent you can be. You will always have hope. And you will always teach your child to have hope. That I suppose is the most important rule of all.
Anyways, I've recently discovered one of my college friends had become father to two (how could they possibly be so tiny?) twin daughters. He is not the first of my friends to become a parent. But his newborns were twins, which was something new, and also he never was the kind of guy that you'd ever picture to be of the fatherly kind. I suppose all of us would one day come to this phase in life. But there are always those few who you'd always expect not to procreate. Those who are not exactly naturally caring. The thought is a downer yes. But then parenting is not a kind of thing where you get to have a do-over. You have to get it right every darn time. You are responsible for the upbringing for a little human being, and all the other offspring that would come after him/her.
Most people I'd guess just end up teaching themselves to be good parents. There is really any specific rules written for it. Well, I guess there are. Mostly I think if you manage to get your spawn to not die till he gets a job, you're good. And also ensure he doesn't become a mass murderer or a sarcastic hipster-jerk. Yeah that's crucial.
Our parents had it easy. They had us in an age when we had to go through a lot of trouble to figure out the bad stuff for ourselves. Not everything was available to everybody at the click of a button. Even middle-schoolers carry around iPads and smartphones. Just googling, "How to be a serial killer" would give them like 29 million results. Trust me, I tried. That sort of scares me a little. How could anyone even think of bringing another soul into this sad mucus of a planet.
Everything is shitty. Everyone is crappy about everything. Every news you every about on the media is about how the world is on its final violent death rattle. Why would you want to bring another kid into the mix? Especially when you would be ethically and legally bound to take care of the little brat?
You sit and spend time thinking of all that. You begin to become cynical of everything and everyone. You begin to feel sorry for the kids being born everyday. They are going to have a lousy future in store for them, just because their parents couldn't keep their hands off of each other. You yourself though spend your time going through the motions of being a normal human-being, trying not to seem as scared shitless as you are. Being a normal human involves you visiting the new kids borne by your friends in the hospital. You congratulate the father on his accomplishment (?). You compliment the mother she did well, and that she looks beautiful and glowing. Then you dutifully go over to the crib where the special guest of the day is half asleep comfortably bundled in her many soft blankets.
You look at this little tiny living thing. You barely detect it breathing. You are slightly doubtful if it is even alive. Then its eyes open just slightly, as if it detected your doubting her mere existence. Then her lips spread out slightly into what looks like smile. (Does she even know what a smile is?) She stretches her limbs within the blankets, snuggling into herself, getting comfortable in her crib. Her eyes open wider and she looks directly at you. You feel goosebumps all over you. She notices you. This little amazing creature has got you into her eyesight. And that is a weird feeling. It seems like she can see directly within you. She sees you for all that you are. Her lips again part to give that expression you associate with a smile. But it is way more than that. It is like her acknowledgement that you exist. Her way of saying, "I see you, and I approve of you." That somehow seems like the biggest acclamation you've received all your life.
You wish to move your hands. You wish to touch her. You want to feel her soft sweet-smelling skin with your fingers. But you are afraid you might hurt her. She seems so fragile and precious. You look down smiling back at her. Watch her for another moment while she shuts her eyes again and drifts off to whatever world babies visit in their sleep.
You turn around say your friends a brisk goodbye and leave the hospital. You discover that you like kids. And that feeling you felt when the baby smiled back at you, is the reason people always wanted to become parents. And when do, you will do everything humanly possible to not much it up. You will be the best parent you can be. You will always have hope. And you will always teach your child to have hope. That I suppose is the most important rule of all.
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