Day 14 : Taking For Granted

I read in an article a while back. Most of the relationships that break up are because somebody began to take the other for granted. Because they began to forget to give them with the same, or at least some comparable portion, of attention that they gave their spouse when they were courting. I am pretty sure it was in one of those Cosmo/Women's Era sort of magazine. Don't ask me what I was doing reading that thing. Given the opportunity and the time, I will read anything.

Anyways, cut to today. As I'd mentioned earlier how often these days I am encountered with a bunch of social media announcements; of weddings and engagements and such. This week I'd noticed a profile update of someone from school. About her getting committed with someone. As one normally does in such scenarios, I left a like and a comment saying how happy I am for her and yada-yada-yada. I'd forgotten all about the post quite soon, later when I woke up I see that she had IMed me asking me my home address. Apparently she was sending out the wedding invitation to people by post. I didn't realize people still did that, at least not when it came to the random dozens of people you went to college with.

You see, this girl and I weren't exactly all that friendly back in the day. She was in my classes and we had the same group of friends to we've hung out and all, but it was not the kind of relationship that would require one having to formally invite the other to their wedding. I thought one comment on their wedding pictures was the norm for these things.

So obviously I was curious, and replied to her she can just mail the e-invite if she had any to my email address. And she said she can do that, yes indeed. And then she started to ask me other random stuff. You know the banter, how you doing and how's life, long time no see. You know the kind of mandatory gibberish that people lavish on you till they reach to actual crux of the conversation. 

"So how is Ajay?"

Aha. She wants me to talk about her ex. So freaking lol.

Ajay and I go way back, even before school. And we were in constant contact even after school. He is a stand up guy, the sort of guy you can always count on. But admittedly a little simpleminded when it comes to girls. And this chick is one of the few have experienced his inexperience first hand.

They used to be a thing in school, you know hanging out together all the time, after school 'tuition' and stuff. And as luck would have it they both got into colleges in the same city in another state. So obviously the relationship grew from sort-of-dating to all out Romeo+Juliet. If I have the history of it correctly, they went steady throughout college and a few months after. The girl found a better option, or got cold feet or got scared about getting her parents permission to marry him or whatever. And dumps the guy.

Cut back to today.I say Ajay is great and that he is work in a big international company and owns a home in the capital, drives a German car, and is engaged to a hot girl from Delhi. The soon-to-be-bride just goes silent for a bit and doesn't reply. When she does, she just says, good for him. I need to leave now. Bye.

And I put my mobile back on the table, lean back on my chair arms behind my head, legs spread out and smile a big wide smile of content on my face.

You see, my friend, Ajay (fake name, obviously), works for a lame company, doing something he hates. He doesn't own a car, and for all I know he probably has been late for his rent a couple of times. His life sucks. But she doesn't need to know any of that. She dumped his sorry ass. She took him for granted. And I was the one who he came to when he was crying about her. How she'd dumped him just cause she thought she could do better. She sized him up over time and when she found there is no big future in store for him she went looking for a better model. 

He treated her well, never hurt her in anyway, and probably loved her a whole lot. The guy has a good heart. I do realize that doesn't amount to much in today's world. But still, sometimes it really just feels wrong seeing a good person get trampled on over by stupid people. Some people are just too blind to what is good, and what is just flashy.

Nice guys finish last. For the feministly-inclined, I willl also add. Nice girls finish last, also holds true. Hurt happens more to the nice ones cause, they are too nice to walk away from anything just because it is not a comfortable position for them. They get hurt. 

Much of it comes with giving the people around you the power to be able to do harm to you. Be your own person. Strive to be the best version of yourself. If someone sticks around till you do find yourself, she's the one. Else, well who cares.