Day 20 : To Jerks with Love

You knew your mother wasn't kidding when she told you that you could be anything in the whole wide world, if only put some heart into it. You and a very few other extraordinary people took this advice to heart, and chose to be a prick.

I realize it is the in-thing to be the most sarcastic, mean mouthed person you can be. The more people you are able to put down any given day is going to sway your position in the food chain of popularity in your squad. You were always preparing for a life of pure asshatery. You were way ahead of your time. While us normal beings were watching The Breakfast Club and rooting for the students. You Sir, were watching it to study the quintessential authoritative asshole in the form of Paul Gleason. But you Sir, used it as your bible for the rest of your life.

It must have been a very difficult to invest so much time and effort into coming up with new and innovative ways to be a make somebody's life a living hell. I am sure there must have been at least some advanced level of planning involved in it. Some of y'all do make it seem a whole lot simpler than it is. Kudos to you for that. And for others who actually have had to strive to be the evil mastermind they are today, know this, your hard work is very much appreciated. Everyone can have an asshole, but you kind Sir, took every step conceivable to become one completely.

Something must have gone amazingly right in your life for you to be genius that you are now. Some might say that you were mostly probably dropped on your head when you were a child. But nah, I know better. You just spent hours and hours in your basement alone, bundled in your many stale clothes for weeks with nobody to talk to as a child. Nobody else could handle your level of extraordinary people skills. And you put all that lone time to good use. You became the best lone prick the world would ever see. You honed your specific set of skills for the betterment of the world around you and be the kind of role model that the kids these days need. They will need to learn so much from you. You are the one thing that stands between the world and total annihilation of sarcastic douchebaggery.

If there aren't many around you who say thank you for your service. Let me do that now, thank you Sir. Thank you for all the wonderful sacrifices you have made for making another human being cry herself into sleep. You must be so proud of yourself. I am sure your parents are too. They must boast to all of their friends and neighbors about the big person their loving child has become. If only they knew your number or where you live, I'm sure they would have said this to you themselves. After all its only been a year since you gave them a visit. Another sacrifice I am sure pains you deeply.

Thank you for being the dick that you are Sir.
You make the world the shitty place it is. Take a bow.

Day 19 : It's Kind of a Funny Story - Book Review

Okay this is weird. I never thought I would like a Young Adult book so much. I have made fun of the absurd amount hype associated with them and the hordes of crazy fans who flock in support of their favorite actors who play leads in the movie based out of these books. Some of those actors are really horrible. And some of the books itself are also terribly written. They pick up one unique, and frankly amazing, plot and stretch it to such an extent that they butcher the very thing that made it awesome.

But. This book is something different.

Just like many others I came to know of this book after I'd seen the movie based on it which I'd only seen that because it starred Zach Galifianakis and Emma Roberts. It was a decent movie. Had its own foibles as most YA movies do but some of the dialogues in the movie felt very precise and well structured, which could very well have been taken from a well-written book. This was a clearly YA movie but the characters didn't seemed to know that. The dialogue and plot could have been from any average movie and still work just as good. That got me to pick up the book to see for myself if this change was something that writer of novel intended originally or something the screenwriters pushed into their script. I know now, it was the writer of the novel who wrote them like that.

Author - Ned Vizzini.
Quck note - He himself suffered from clinical depression for most of his life and sadly committed suicide in 2013, at the age of 32.

The book is about a very intelligent overachieving teenager who works his butt off to get into a prestigious New York prep school. And once he is in can't cope with the pressure and stress linked with having to deal with all the work and the lack of social life that comes along it. He starts developing issues relating to people around him. He stops eating or sleeping, and spends all of his waking hours in a limbo worrying about how he can mess his whole life up by failing at this school. He then one night then decides he cannot take it anymore and decides to kill himself by jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge.

Good sense prevails. He somehow manages to call up a suicide hotline and they help him get checked into emergency care. They take him in as a mental patient and put him on suicide watch. But the hospital is under renovation so he is bunked along with the adult ward. That's where the whole story unfolds, a fifteen year old high school kid amidst a bunch of adults with serious mental issues.

In the book seems like there a bunch of homages for real people in the writer's life, in the sense that they are all largely believable. Even the patient who thinks gravity doesn't exist anymore and that anytime now we would all just stop sticking to the Earth and just fall off into the sky. There are a bunch of wonderful ideas and interest experiences where the writer explains the sense of loneliness and hopelessness that someone with this illness would have to face in life. It all feels very frank and straight from the heart. Like how life for someone like this could be so much better for them if they simply just have the love and support of their family and friends.

I really like those parts in any book. The part where the writer says exactly what he feels. No B.S. This book has a lot of that. It is not overdone. Nor overly dramatic. Nor trying to be too funny or hip or in with the crowd. It is just right. (last couple pages notwithstanding)

It is good, mostly so cause I believe it was just being honest. There isn't anything in it that you will feel too jarring or something that would make you think that, yep this is definitely a book written for kids. Cause its not. Sure, it would be a book that would do a world of good to kid, if he/she read it, especially if she thinks she is unworthy. But I suppose this is a book for everyone who thinks that their life is too tough to handle at times.

I'd recommend this book to every newbie readers, in fact all readers even. It is a good story.

And to Mr Vizzini I'd like to say, you had a precious light in you. It is unfortunate that the darkness in you stopped you from seeing it. RIP.

Day 18 : Quidditch Through The Ages - Book Review

This one actually feels like a Hogwarts book. The language, the tone, the characters and most importantly - Quidditch.

This is written as a sort of serious non-fiction book that jots down the history of how the game has developed in its present form. As anything in the wizarding world, there was never really a hope of keeping anything serious. Almost every other page has a funny incident that happened with the game, or of the many quirky character that played their part in the games creation. I especially enjoyed the Daily Prophet excerpts by Rita Skeeter. She clearly was a reliable honest journalist as ever. (Not.)

Though my favorite in the whole book happens just a couple pages into it.

Yes you read that right. That is from the checkout page from the Hogwarts Library, with doodles and all. With actual entries from Ron, Hermoine, Malfoy, Padma Patil and Neville Longbottom. If you even wondered what their handwriting would look like. Well here you go, courtesy J K Rowling. I sort of wish they'd actually brought in an handwriting expert who actually got paid to devise what their handwriting would look like after reading all of the seven books and understand each of their characters.

And for those who ship "Draco+Hermoine", look up there, Draco has up and about getting that book as soon as Granger was done with it. Nobody else hurried to get this book as him. What if this was during the time he was Seeker for Slytherin and his checking out the book after our favorite know it all was just a coincedence, you say. Well, screw you. You can't prove anything.

There are also a bunch of other easter eggs through out the book. All glorious, all taking you back to simpler time where wasn't any flying dragons and blood-thirsty Red Priestesses. Hogwarts was where magic was good and bad. But mostly good, cause good always prevailed. In Hogwarts the good did not get beheaded in the first book itself in front of both his daughters. GRRM. Beep.

Anyways, as for the history of Quidditch there are a lot of minute details and specifics in here that I didn't know before. And I am sure if we did ever manage to build a Nimbus 1000, we would definitely this book as the go-to guide to build our own Quidditch Pitch.

I loved this book. I love the whole library set, in fact. It all feels so sweet to back to school now.

This is home.

Day 17 : Go home

“I don't know how I can be so ambitious and so lazy at the same time.”

Damn, that is so freaking apt for me right now. There are so many things that I dream of doing and experiencing, and most of that gets dumped into the back burner almost always. Just look at this blog. I am even not able to write here as often as I would like to. As a few of you have kindly pointed out, I am getting more consistent now. And I thank you all who come read here. But yet damn, I could still do so much better. And remember that "pet project" I was working on last year? Still not even close to being complete. There are a lot of things in life that I am not doing any to. There is always that nagging voice in the back of my head, "aren't you forgetting something?" Of course I am lady, what you think?! (Dunno why that voice inside my head always sounds like Meryl Streep.) You woke up today, planning to this, this, this and this. And how much have you actually got yourself to do? None. 

I mean don't get me wrong. I am a killer at work. There is no freak mistakes happening there, none whatsoever. I am good at what I do, and there is no way I am letting anything make things otherwise. But that is all that I can state in utmost confidence. A lot of people that I know and/or work with have to the same thing to say, we are all working way too much that we should. Almost everyone I know is doing atleast a couple hour each week than they are supposed to. Most of the people I know, still check on their work mailers way past their bed times. Even I have started to check up on my mails early in the morning. And I was the kind of guy who'd make fun of a thing like that. 

I suppose all this could be written off as being part of growing up. 

There comes a point, when at least the six of the last ten recent calls work related. (Who calls anyone at all these days.)

There comes a point, when an old friend texts you, you automatically start thinking up excuses for avoiding a meet-up. (And that is even before you reply with a Hi.)

There comes a point, when the best accomplishment you've done all week would be a good job from your folks at office. (And getting none at all, turns you into the Hulk. Inside your head of course)

There comes a point,  when the worst thing to happen to you all week is wake up healthy on a Monday. (And worse still is waking up sick, but still have to go to work because you have something urgent to do.)

The thing is. of late, I am listening to a lot of mishaps happening that are work related. We are all taking up too much on ourselves. Working long hours, And treat every single case of work-related hurdles like a matter of life and death. While honestly it is not. Not everyone amongst work at a place where every single mistake that you do cause actual physical harm to anyone. Stress is par for the course, if you work as a paramedic or in law enforcement etc. But if you spend the majority of you time at work sitting on your backside, you really shouldn't be spending every waking moment treating like you're wading through a mine field.

Don't take everything so seriously. Every once in a while, get up from your cubicle and walk around your floor. Take the time to interact with folks around you and actually make a human connection. That I've found relieves the stress in a big way. Also I've found people are very generous with laughter at work, they would laugh at practically anything. No matter how cringe worthy your joke was. That I've found also boosts your morale in a big way. 

Yet, if at all you goof up, and end up spending over 12 hours at a stretch in your cubicle. Just relax for a moment, take a breath. And tell yourself - "No one is going to die. The world will survive if this one thing didn't happen right now. Come back tomorrow and have a go at it again. Right now, you need to get out of here. Go home. Remember that place?"

Don't overstretch and over-stress yourself over anything, mate. Nothing in life is worth it.

Go home!

Day 16 : The Tales of Beedle The Bard - Book Review

It has been over two years I've reread the Harry Potter books in its entirety. There are time when I pick one of them up when I passingly see a bit of the movies or overhear that awesome soundtrack somewhere. It is like some sort of strange bond that we of the Harry Potter generation have with these books. We grew up with the magical trio, were of the same age when the first book was published and, read the few books together right in step with Harry himself. So in a big way JKR and her creations have been a part of our lives in a big way.

The conclusion of the books, and movies was, honestly, a bit too shocking for us. It was like the end of an era. Like the demise of somebody that we have known most of our young lives. And just a mere sentence in the end of the book saying 'All was well..' in the wizarding world wasn't enough for us. We wanted to be sure that Harry and Ron and Hermoine, even little Albus were doing well. It was very important for us to know that, to live our own lives guilt free.

So I guess by her infinite generosity JKR puts out a few hints and tidbits of what is happening over at the Wizarding world every once in a while. Just keep our HP fix going. These collection of books are one such acts of generosity by her. More so now, because all the funds from this collection of books from Hogwarts Library is donated to Lumos, a charitable trust for impoverished children.

Now onto the book itself.

First off, it is a beautiful book. With brilliant illustrations and gorgeous artwork. I loved it.

It is like what a real wizard or witch would read to their children at bedtime. The stories have their own share of magical intrigue and wonder, like the fairy tales of the muggle world. Some of the stories by Beedle does feel like it would have a counterpart in the one of the many stories that you yourself might have read/heard somewhere when you were a kid. For example, the story of "The Fountain of Fair Fortune" is very much like a story I'd read in a collection of Russian fairy tales that I had when I was a kid. That book was filled with so much heart and love. It worked in that book, and it works just as well in this one.

The stories are very sweet and filled with innocent imagination, as any fairy tale is supposed to be. I found even the "Warlock's Hairy Heart" was something that you could very well read to your kid during bed time. Would very well do them good to teach the  how to be a better human being - wizard or otherwise.

Book is said to be from the Hogwart's library itself, translated from the ancient runes by Hermoince Granger and contains notes by Albus Dumbledore at the end of each tale where he lists his own observations about the history of lore and of the importance the tale had in Beedle's and in the morality of much of the wizarding world. The notes do shed a light on what was going on within the Professor's mind during the months before the Battle of the Astronomy Tower. The latest of the notes is supposed to be at least eighteen months before the tragic incident, even the slightest recollection of which still sort of pains a little.

There is mention of horcruxes, animagi, Elder Wand, Transfiguration, love potions and all the other wonderful spells and magical items we all love and adore. This is such a beautiful trip back down memory lane. More so, because I know all my favorite characters are still hale and hearty when Albus's writing his notes.

The thought of just  that does make me smile. All is well in Hogwarts.

Day 15 : Being Chill

I noticed something today. I'd gotten way too laid back than I used to be. I do not get angry at stuff anymore. I cannot remember the last time that I was actually angry at anyone or anything. And that is a huge departure from the way I used to treat every minor offence that used to happen in life. If anything or especially anyone in life gave the slightest cause for friction, I would be up in arms in a matter of seconds.

I was extremely reactionary to everything in life, and that used to reflect with the sort of friends I used to have back then. Guys I used to hang out in my latter days of school, were exactly the sort of people if you saw on the street, would quickly avert your eyes and look the other way. No one liked to be on the receiving end of their teenage rebellion.

This went on for quite a while. I guess I had a bit of it still when I got into high school and college, but this was usually the kind of aggression you'd throw about you when you're provoked. And even then there was always something that would stop me from throwing my fist around. It probably was due to my size, I have always been among the big guys in any group of people I've been in. so clearly any sort of shoving from my side would bruise the other party involved. So I'd conditioned myself early on to avoid doing that. But damn, I do miss shoving somebody around though.

I really don't know what's changed. For most other changes in life, I guess I can state an actual point in time where something or someone helped decide the change. Be it family, or friendship or money. There is always that one incident that shaped or destroyed my outlook on things. But for the loss of this once ever-present aggression I have no answer.

Anger used to be whole lot of fun though. Being able to be the loudest guy in the room did have its advantages. You can practically win any argument. Being right in a debate is second to being the loudest one. 

But now, in this watered down persona that I seemed to have taken up, getting your idea through into the other person's thick skull does take a lot of effort. And damn, is it tedious. There are times when you would just like to that guy's shoulders in your hands and shake him around until the idea you're trying to explain actually filters down into his brain. But heck, no you cannot do that, you are being the non-violent kind remember? You just will have to bite down on your frustration and have another go at it. Get the dumbass to actually comprehend what you are trying to say instead of trying to scare it into him.

Well you can always imagine tearing his limb apart one by one while you are explaining the stuff to him. I am sure that would still count as being mellow. You are only trying to calm yourself by imagining it. Of course that's allowed. Right?

Day 14 : Taking For Granted

I read in an article a while back. Most of the relationships that break up are because somebody began to take the other for granted. Because they began to forget to give them with the same, or at least some comparable portion, of attention that they gave their spouse when they were courting. I am pretty sure it was in one of those Cosmo/Women's Era sort of magazine. Don't ask me what I was doing reading that thing. Given the opportunity and the time, I will read anything.

Anyways, cut to today. As I'd mentioned earlier how often these days I am encountered with a bunch of social media announcements; of weddings and engagements and such. This week I'd noticed a profile update of someone from school. About her getting committed with someone. As one normally does in such scenarios, I left a like and a comment saying how happy I am for her and yada-yada-yada. I'd forgotten all about the post quite soon, later when I woke up I see that she had IMed me asking me my home address. Apparently she was sending out the wedding invitation to people by post. I didn't realize people still did that, at least not when it came to the random dozens of people you went to college with.

You see, this girl and I weren't exactly all that friendly back in the day. She was in my classes and we had the same group of friends to we've hung out and all, but it was not the kind of relationship that would require one having to formally invite the other to their wedding. I thought one comment on their wedding pictures was the norm for these things.

So obviously I was curious, and replied to her she can just mail the e-invite if she had any to my email address. And she said she can do that, yes indeed. And then she started to ask me other random stuff. You know the banter, how you doing and how's life, long time no see. You know the kind of mandatory gibberish that people lavish on you till they reach to actual crux of the conversation. 

"So how is Ajay?"

Aha. She wants me to talk about her ex. So freaking lol.

Ajay and I go way back, even before school. And we were in constant contact even after school. He is a stand up guy, the sort of guy you can always count on. But admittedly a little simpleminded when it comes to girls. And this chick is one of the few have experienced his inexperience first hand.

They used to be a thing in school, you know hanging out together all the time, after school 'tuition' and stuff. And as luck would have it they both got into colleges in the same city in another state. So obviously the relationship grew from sort-of-dating to all out Romeo+Juliet. If I have the history of it correctly, they went steady throughout college and a few months after. The girl found a better option, or got cold feet or got scared about getting her parents permission to marry him or whatever. And dumps the guy.

Cut back to today.I say Ajay is great and that he is work in a big international company and owns a home in the capital, drives a German car, and is engaged to a hot girl from Delhi. The soon-to-be-bride just goes silent for a bit and doesn't reply. When she does, she just says, good for him. I need to leave now. Bye.

And I put my mobile back on the table, lean back on my chair arms behind my head, legs spread out and smile a big wide smile of content on my face.

You see, my friend, Ajay (fake name, obviously), works for a lame company, doing something he hates. He doesn't own a car, and for all I know he probably has been late for his rent a couple of times. His life sucks. But she doesn't need to know any of that. She dumped his sorry ass. She took him for granted. And I was the one who he came to when he was crying about her. How she'd dumped him just cause she thought she could do better. She sized him up over time and when she found there is no big future in store for him she went looking for a better model. 

He treated her well, never hurt her in anyway, and probably loved her a whole lot. The guy has a good heart. I do realize that doesn't amount to much in today's world. But still, sometimes it really just feels wrong seeing a good person get trampled on over by stupid people. Some people are just too blind to what is good, and what is just flashy.

Nice guys finish last. For the feministly-inclined, I willl also add. Nice girls finish last, also holds true. Hurt happens more to the nice ones cause, they are too nice to walk away from anything just because it is not a comfortable position for them. They get hurt. 

Much of it comes with giving the people around you the power to be able to do harm to you. Be your own person. Strive to be the best version of yourself. If someone sticks around till you do find yourself, she's the one. Else, well who cares.

Day 13 : Chat Room Fiction

Internet is an extraordinary thing. I can't even imagine a world without it. We are surrounded with tech and internet wherever we go. Almost every waking moment of our lives is chained to the web.

They are actually researching some sort of psychological condition where people actually dream about posting on Facebook and browsing the news-feed.

That is just like this article I read the other day - List of diseases blamed on the Internet.

I frankly think the internet gets a bad rap. It is really not that bad guys. Imagine a time when you had to actually stop your car and ask someone for directions to that hip Thai restaurant. 

God forbid, us asking our colleagues directly if they have been to that place and what they thought of the food there? What if they invite themselves over into your dinner plans? 

WTF guys, you are talking about me aren't ya?

Ignore. The internet has saved us a lot of such confrontation and emotional confusion. 

Yeah, dude. We could all very well do without actually sitting and thinking about how we feel about our own lives. Or others.

Time that could be easily better spent watching the latest season of the House of Cards.

Go Team Claire! 

Claire is a wuss.

Your a wuss.

It is spelled you're. Diphit. 

I just read the link you sent, maan. That's some cray s*it right there. And them seniors say THEY had it bad. The atom bomb, the Kargil war, WTC.

Heck, they were even scared shitless of the number 2000 during the Y2K panic. Bunch of pussies. 

Exactly. We have far more serious thing to worry about. 

Like. Darn it, ya'll see my birthday party photo I posted up last week. How the heck did I get only eighty goddamn likes! And how the hell did only thirty damn people commented on it!!!

I liked I commented, dude. For real!!1 

None from my Pune team mates did. Bunch of pricks I tell you. Always hated them, yes TJ, I am talking about you. 

Yo, not cool man. I wasn't online all week. 

Ya, nobody believes you Teej. 

Seriously dude, I tell you. People get no love these days. What does a guy have to do get a few likes? Damn. 

And yo. Heard of that new Apple commotion about doing away with the encryption in their smartphones?

WTF. OMG. Do you think they'd get into those pictures, boo?

Dude! IM me pvtly. 

Seriously, guys?

Damn man. Just when I am about to switch from android to iOS. If they do it in their markets, they'd do the same everywhere else 2. 

Thanks, Feds. Thanks, real kind of you. 

Last one hour in a fic group chat. Pretty awesome way to spend time, right. Whining about the internet. Some people have way too much time on their hands.

Oh wait, a new like on my GOT tweet. Yay!

Day 12 : About Depression

The book I am reading right now is about a high school kid who is suffering from clinical depression. The writer of the book has taken a lot of effort to get the reader better understand the pain and hardship somebody suffering with this disease goes through. He really has been successful at it to an extent. There are parts in the book that would make you cringe, some would make you let out a nervous chuckle because you are not sure if something that horrendous could really even be possible. It is. There are some parts that would make you feel to darn sad and forlorn. This is not a happy book. There are parts where you begin to relate to the things writer is taking about. Parts that makes you think.

Depression.

This is the sort of thing that until recently would've been thought as a illness only inflicted upon the weak-minded. People were taught - if you are to be a successful and a respected member of the society, you have to lift yourself up by the bootstraps, keep you chin up, take the best along with the worst, keep the fight going. You know the sort of motivational mumbo-jumbo that they feed you when they get tired of your whining and have no constructive advice to give you. Nobody ever liked to get their hands dirty on somebody else's mess. Don't ask don't tell, didn't always apply to the gay-rights law they implemented in US armed forces. It used to be the norm when it came to many things that made people uneasy.

I am sure that people back then too got anxious and stressed about stuff. But my guess is that they probably had more gumption than us. They had deeper understanding between them. They were able to cope with it, because they were there to help each other when it counted. In today's world of too much, we don't have enough of that. Media, entertainment, gossip, work, pressure, greed, hate, love, anger, fear. Everything. We have lot of those. But people themselves haven't progressed with the pace in which the things around them have. Sometimes it gets a little too much for us. We all have a tipping point. Where our brains just decide that it cannot handle of this all the time. It simply just goes on a snooze. And it blames you for it. Which in turn makes us feel even more shitty.

I guess there is a term for what I am doing right now - Yellderly. But heck, it is the book talking not me. Not entirely.

I really do thing we take on too many stuff on our plates. It would be good to take a break from all of this. They have even started to have these zones in some cities of Europe where they promise to have no tech or internet signal. You just go there and sit and relax for a bit. Get away from everything. Doesn't that sound marvelous.

I guess that doesn't exactly fit the bill for what clinical depression exactly is all about. That's for the doctors to talk about. I feel that everyone has the possibility of being depressed in life at some point. Not everyone always has to face it. But then nobody is exempt from it either. Some do manage to cope with it by themselves. By the help of medication and therapy, or in the case of a lucky few, wonderful friends and family that help through it all. In the end, feeling alone is a lousy thing. And if you have a disease that makes you feel like you deserve to be sad and alone, it makes life all the more tough to handle.

I guess, what I am saying is, you are not alone. Not truly. Whoever it was that created us, created like billions of other people in here just to ensue that we are not alone. And if you just give it a chance, I am sure you will find at least a few people out there who you could relate with and who would hear you out and give you a friendly embrace.

Sometimes that is all that is needed. Listening to each other. Just talking to someone who care about you really does help. Unloading your worries. To know there there is at least on other person on this planet who knows you and the shit that you're going through. There really are such people. Always.

You are not alone.

Day 11 : About Parenting

I am at that point in life when a lot of my friends are either engaged, hitched, or expecting children. Every time I go on social media I can always see something posted up by friends making what they hope to be a big social-media announcement. It has happened so often now, even the auto-correct on my phone has started prompting Congratulations as soon as I start typing any word starting with a C. And let me tell you, it didn't always suggest that specific C word for me use while replying to something on social media. Little things like that would make you think about the choices that you've made in life, y'know?

Anyways, I've recently discovered one of my college friends had become father to two (how could they possibly be so tiny?) twin daughters. He is not the first of my friends to become a parent. But his newborns were twins, which was something new, and also he never was the kind of guy that you'd ever picture to be of the fatherly kind. I suppose all of us would one day come to this phase in life. But there are always those few who you'd always expect not to procreate. Those who are not exactly naturally caring. The thought is a downer yes. But then parenting is not a kind of thing where you get to have a do-over. You have to get it right every darn time. You are responsible for the upbringing for a little human being, and all the other offspring that would come after him/her.

Most people I'd guess just end up teaching themselves to be good parents. There is really any specific rules written for it. Well, I guess there are. Mostly I think if you manage to get your spawn to not die till he gets a job, you're good. And also ensure he doesn't become a mass murderer or a sarcastic hipster-jerk. Yeah that's crucial.

Our parents had it easy. They had us in an age when we had to go through a lot of trouble to figure out the bad stuff for ourselves. Not everything was available to everybody at the click of a button. Even middle-schoolers carry around iPads and smartphones. Just googling, "How to be a serial killer" would give them like 29 million results. Trust me, I tried. That sort of scares me a little. How could anyone even think of bringing another soul into this sad mucus of a planet.

Everything is shitty. Everyone is crappy about everything. Every news you every about on the media is about how the world is on its final violent death rattle. Why would you want to bring another kid into the mix? Especially when you would be ethically and legally bound to take care of the little brat?

You sit and spend time thinking of all that. You begin to become cynical of everything and everyone. You begin to feel sorry for the kids being born everyday. They are going to have a lousy future in store for them, just because their parents couldn't keep their hands off of each other. You yourself though spend your time going through the motions of being a normal human-being, trying not to seem as scared shitless as you are. Being a normal human involves you visiting the new kids borne by your friends in the hospital. You congratulate the father on his accomplishment (?). You compliment the mother she did well, and that she looks beautiful and glowing. Then you dutifully go over to the crib where the special guest of the day is half asleep comfortably bundled in her many soft blankets.

You look at this little tiny living thing. You barely detect it breathing. You are slightly doubtful if it is even alive. Then its eyes open just slightly, as if it detected your doubting her mere existence. Then her lips spread out slightly into what looks like smile. (Does she even know what a smile is?) She stretches her limbs within the blankets, snuggling into herself, getting comfortable in her crib. Her eyes open wider and she looks directly at you. You feel goosebumps all over you. She notices you. This little amazing creature has got you into her eyesight. And that is a weird feeling. It seems like she can see directly within you. She sees you for all that you are. Her lips again part to give that expression you associate with a smile. But it is way more than that. It is like her acknowledgement that you exist. Her way of saying, "I see you, and I approve of you." That somehow seems like the biggest acclamation you've received all your life.

You wish to move your hands. You wish to touch her. You want to feel her soft sweet-smelling skin with your fingers. But you are afraid you might hurt her. She seems so fragile and precious. You look down smiling back at her. Watch her for another moment while she shuts her eyes again and drifts off to whatever world babies visit in their sleep.

You turn around say your friends a brisk goodbye and leave the hospital. You discover that you like kids. And that feeling you felt when the baby smiled back at you, is the reason people always wanted to become parents. And when do, you will do everything humanly possible to not much it up. You will be the best parent you can be. You will always have hope. And you will always teach your child to have hope. That I suppose is the most important rule of all.

Day 10 : Of Mice And Men - Book Review

This is definitely a wonderful book. It was written a long while back, evident in the language and prose. It has very old-fashioned lead characters, setting and manner of dialogue. And since I am starting on a oldie-but-goldie spree this one seemed as good a start as any. I am glad I did.

The lead characters are two migrant ranch-workers who are apparently drifting around in a southern American state. The pair would seem pretty commonplace in any "bromance" movie off late. And since this was written much sooner than any of those became a trend, I think this was the first ones amongst those. One guy is tall and strong and dumb. The other is short and intelligent and sensitive. One is the well-intentioned clumsy dimwit. Other is the cynical closet-optimistic. One who is too young for his age, other older than his. One who likes to pet tiny animals and anything soft, other who has already discovered the world for the hard place that it is. I love them both, namely Lennie and George.

And like most other stories of this age, at the center of all the trouble is a woman. Here this one is never mentioned by name. It's usually 'Curley's wife' or that tart who gives other men the eye, which is old-fashioned-speak for a promiscuous woman. She is described to be very attractive young woman who dreamt of big things for herself, but now has found herself stuck in a loveless marriage. Very Gatsby or Mad Men-ish. 

The plot is pretty straightforward, and predictable. Only because we have now seen or read so many books with similar story. But I am going to give this book a benefit of a doubt. I am going to assume that this was the one that became so successful with its plot that it inspired a chain of copycat writers in its wake. Just because this is actually a well-written honest book. This is a short book, not longer than any typical novella. But still it has so many good that is going for itself that you come to forgive it for not giving its characters a bit more depth. Well, this was the good old days of yore. People are not supposed to have a personality. You are just born, categorized into a specific slot by the society and there you are to stay for the rest of your life. There are not many who did overcome that hurdle during those times. There is a black stable-hand in the book called Crooks whose character explores this side of life during those times.

There is a lot of heart in the book, and a lot heart wrenching scenes. This book, if published now would very well be dismissed off hand for being to mushy. Even with the number of times that the author uses the N-word in this book. This book would never have been edgy enough for the reader of today. And I am fine with that. A good book doesn't necessarily have to be edgy and pushing the boundaries all the times. Sometimes it just needs to have a compelling story that pulls at your heartstrings and makes you feel feelings you've never known. And this book is definitely successful at that.

I wish I'd read this book when I was much younger. Empathy is something that a lot of us could have more of.