Day 58 : Optimistic Nihilist

Do you ever notice that you always keep changing your mind about things way too much? I always do that. I start out actually having a strong opinion about something and by the week's end I will be having radically opposite notion about the very same thing. I cannot really come to be of a strong conviction any one thing really, especially when it is something of the future. 

Do I want to write? Do want to keep doing the work I am currently doing? Do I want to quit and go do college again? If I do, do I want to learn something creative? Or do I just go ahead get a master in the field I am already into? Or do I just quit and go to the Himalayas in search of enlightenment?

I get so confused with these decisions, what do I really want to do with my life? I guess nobody really has an answer to it. But still isn't that the big question, what the heck are we doing with ourselves? Is this all there is to it? Is this what we are all meant to do? There are people out there who do amazing things with their life, right? The magazines are filled with pictures of their accomplishments and great feats. Isn't that what is to be our aim as well? Go out do big things and get our faces pasted on the cover of Time magazine. Isn't that THE dream? To be somebody.

But then I had a really good look at all the "somebody’s that I know/heard of. The famous artists, musicians, actors, intelligent people, thought leaders, party leaders, mass murderers. A big chunk of them became "somebody’s only after they were dead and done. Sure most of them knew a bit of fame when they were alive but a lot of them only came about to be the legends they are today only at retrospect. I respect those somebody’s. The ones that are revered and remembered. Ones that will be remembered even twenty years after they are dead and decomposed.

In today's day and age, there are a lot of famous people doing the rounds. It has become rather easy to become famous these days. All you have to do is have a reality show, have a big butt, or just post picture of a dress on Instagram with questionable color hues. People get famous all the time. And then people also get forgotten all the time. I can guarantee you, for example, thirty years from now you will remember Jennifer Lawrence for her scene outside the theatre in Silver Linings.. More than for her nude pictures that got leaked over the internet a few months ago. Because that is somebody who deserves the fame. She has got the skills. (And the fact that she is irresistibly adorable)

I don't suppose that we are all that memorable. I don't have high hopes that a lot many of us will be remembered more than those coming in the next generation, and only a handful at that if at all. But I do think that if we really got into it at all we are all capable of doing something worth remembering by. I am an optimistic nihilist. While I agree there is no point to any of it, we are all just dead people who just don't know it yet. I also believe that we can also create something  worthwhile and enjoy the time we have on this planet. The whole idea of morals and right and wrong is trivial but gratification for ones desires or hunger or lack thereof, should be our goal.

Today, create something out of love, just for your own sake.