Have you noticed that these days people do not really
converse to each other as much as they used to. I remember when I was a kid,
where I used to hang out with a couple of older kids. They lived in another
apartment building but ours shared a playground with theirs so we would bump
into each other often. Mostly near the water tank after playing a game of
cricket or football (I was no good at either of them). We used to sit there the
rest of the evening with our back to the cool concrete of the tank and talk.
These kids were complete dorks, I realize now. But back then
they I thought them to be really cool, they would talk with me about terrorist
beheading and animal mutilation and such; things that the adults would never talk
about around me. Do remember, I was in sixth grade back then, though I did look
much bigger for my age. I felt smart around them too. They used to include me
in their conversation. They played video games, were big fans of Contra and
Mario. I'd only get to play the game rarely when I was a kid, I've never had a
gaming console all childhood, my father disliked anything remotely addicting.
But I did get to play ones with them.
We used to play those WWE Superstar Trading cards. You know,
my Mark Henry's biceps beats your Triple H's. We used to play cards, abuse each
other, talk cartoons and terrorists, drink cola, abuse each other some more, go
home dirty head to toe smelling like piss and mud, but happy through and
through.
Now, I do not know where those two kids are. And honestly I
do not even remember their last names. But I do remember their faces, and the
amiable smiles even they know what this kid three grades below them was talking
about something completely lame. You see back when we were kids, we were all
stupid, we knew we were stupid to some level, but we never made it a thing to
point to other's stupidity and make it like it some big accomplishment if were
able to make someone feel dumb. We didn't feel threatened by intelligence, we
didn't belittle smart people. We were in awe of them. We inspired to be them.
We were kinder back then. We were as we were, natural, unadulterated, and pure.
We did not imitate. We hadn't yet learned how to.
Today we are so exposed to external characters and their
tailor-made monologues that we can choose to portray any persona by just
repeating the dialogues of any of the characters we come across. Want to be
sarcastic? Copy Chandler Bing. Want to be snarky smart ass? Copy Sherlock. Want
to be the seductive female? Copy that lead in Femme Fatale. Want be the big bad
man of the group? Copy Tony Soprano. Want to be the adorable nerd? Copy Leonard
Hofstadter. Want to be the bad-ass nerd? Copy Walter White.
There is already a template available for all sorts of
people out there. I guess that is why whenever you drift off from someone, you
always have a ready excuse for it. 'We never really connected completely.'
Well, of course you didn't. You were not being yourself, neither was that
person. We are all busy trying to behave like some ideal character that half a
dozen spent a decade developing, and earned millions off of it, that we think
that we can just copy the same and get cool and liked just by its merit. It
doesn't work that way.
People like (or liked) other people, by connecting with that
people on a closer, more personal level. By trying to be cooler, and fake, you
are hiding your true self. You will never act foolish or be vulnerable around
someone if you are hiding yourself away behind an image of someone else. Nobody
is perfect, and for me at least, that just works fine. I don't want perfect.
Perfect reeks of fake.
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