Day 20 : To Jerks with Love

You knew your mother wasn't kidding when she told you that you could be anything in the whole wide world, if only put some heart into it. You and a very few other extraordinary people took this advice to heart, and chose to be a prick.

I realize it is the in-thing to be the most sarcastic, mean mouthed person you can be. The more people you are able to put down any given day is going to sway your position in the food chain of popularity in your squad. You were always preparing for a life of pure asshatery. You were way ahead of your time. While us normal beings were watching The Breakfast Club and rooting for the students. You Sir, were watching it to study the quintessential authoritative asshole in the form of Paul Gleason. But you Sir, used it as your bible for the rest of your life.

It must have been a very difficult to invest so much time and effort into coming up with new and innovative ways to be a make somebody's life a living hell. I am sure there must have been at least some advanced level of planning involved in it. Some of y'all do make it seem a whole lot simpler than it is. Kudos to you for that. And for others who actually have had to strive to be the evil mastermind they are today, know this, your hard work is very much appreciated. Everyone can have an asshole, but you kind Sir, took every step conceivable to become one completely.

Something must have gone amazingly right in your life for you to be genius that you are now. Some might say that you were mostly probably dropped on your head when you were a child. But nah, I know better. You just spent hours and hours in your basement alone, bundled in your many stale clothes for weeks with nobody to talk to as a child. Nobody else could handle your level of extraordinary people skills. And you put all that lone time to good use. You became the best lone prick the world would ever see. You honed your specific set of skills for the betterment of the world around you and be the kind of role model that the kids these days need. They will need to learn so much from you. You are the one thing that stands between the world and total annihilation of sarcastic douchebaggery.

If there aren't many around you who say thank you for your service. Let me do that now, thank you Sir. Thank you for all the wonderful sacrifices you have made for making another human being cry herself into sleep. You must be so proud of yourself. I am sure your parents are too. They must boast to all of their friends and neighbors about the big person their loving child has become. If only they knew your number or where you live, I'm sure they would have said this to you themselves. After all its only been a year since you gave them a visit. Another sacrifice I am sure pains you deeply.

Thank you for being the dick that you are Sir.
You make the world the shitty place it is. Take a bow.

Day 46 : The Beast of Depression

There is this one thing that I've often wondered about  - that I do wonder a lot.

There are times with a book or a movie or a wall in front of me;  and I just stare blankly at it with my mind somewhere seas apart.

I am sure a lot many people do this. After all it is so comfortable there inside our heads. The world is such a convenient place. We can be as brave as we want. There is no one smarter than us there. We always know all the right words to say. We won’t have to be cautious about anything here, and always will all the battles. This world is so much prettier than the real world. Who wants this 'real' world anyway? A world filled with burden and sorrow and bitter disappointments. Half the time our life is spent making up for lost opportunities, and the rest is spent wallowing over how we’ll never make up for the loss no matter how much we try.

We all have a deep depressing beast inside all of us that we never fully understand, let alone satisfy. This beast is always going to push and prod us and hold something or the other over our head. This beast will always wail and shed rivers of tears over the sadness that we've have brought upon us and the over the people we hold dear. This beast knows just what to say and show us to bring us over to his side. It will always have that power to tantalize us into thinking there is no scope of victory; that there is no chance of any change in the tide of events.

Things were always sad and hopeless for you, and just because you decide to do something to fight it won't mean your future would be any different.

We in our inexplicable way always feed its hunger. This dark beast breeds off of your hopelessness and grows bigger and fiercer by the day, till the time when you are nothing but a hollow shell of the person you were. You lose your battle even before the results are declared.

Our lives are just too confusing and tiring for any of us to hope to keep hold of our sanity for any long duration. Every once in a while you will find yourself that you have started lashing out at the people around you. Or that you are holed up in a room letting nobody in. Or spending more means to try and keep people away from you; letting them see the bags under your eyes due to the lack of sleep. You sulk around, drag your feet, and sigh your sad sighs over every blow you take. Fate has beaten the life-force out of you. And now your existence seems nothing but a sad process to the eventual downfall to mental annihilation.

But you see... sometimes, you also find a little glimmer of light showing at the end of the tunnel. This bleak damp seemingly endless tunnel of despair you’re in has an end!

You slowly bring yourself you move your feet towards the light. It is hard work, your legs are heavy with the weight of all the burdens and sorrow that you have been carrying through all this time. But still slowly but surely they keep moving forward. Even your body knows how much you need to see that light with your eyes. You move forward.

Slowly your shoulder seems to grow weary, the burden seems too tough to bear anymore. And the light is so close now; you can almost feel its warmth. You cannot stop for a break now. You cannot trust yourself to make it this far again. You shrug your shoulders and let the burden slowly slid off of you one by one. It feels so much better now. You almost chuckle wondrously at how it easy it was to let go of the weight. It seemed so fearsome before. You look back and see all of you misfortunes lying there behind you like your many footprints in the sand of time. So small.

Now you are there. Right in front of the end of the tunnel. There is a door there. It is old wood, seems sodden and damp with age. This door has not been used in a long while. But there is warm air through its hinges, and from below it there is sunny yellow light pushing through onto your feet. Your feet look bloody and dirty with you waddling through your dark tunnel. But now in that light, you like the look of it. It seems callous but firm and hard, ready to step confidently through whatever may be in store for you beyond that bright inviting sunshine.

Today, you shall open that door and step into the light.