Day 20 : To Jerks with Love

You knew your mother wasn't kidding when she told you that you could be anything in the whole wide world, if only put some heart into it. You and a very few other extraordinary people took this advice to heart, and chose to be a prick.

I realize it is the in-thing to be the most sarcastic, mean mouthed person you can be. The more people you are able to put down any given day is going to sway your position in the food chain of popularity in your squad. You were always preparing for a life of pure asshatery. You were way ahead of your time. While us normal beings were watching The Breakfast Club and rooting for the students. You Sir, were watching it to study the quintessential authoritative asshole in the form of Paul Gleason. But you Sir, used it as your bible for the rest of your life.

It must have been a very difficult to invest so much time and effort into coming up with new and innovative ways to be a make somebody's life a living hell. I am sure there must have been at least some advanced level of planning involved in it. Some of y'all do make it seem a whole lot simpler than it is. Kudos to you for that. And for others who actually have had to strive to be the evil mastermind they are today, know this, your hard work is very much appreciated. Everyone can have an asshole, but you kind Sir, took every step conceivable to become one completely.

Something must have gone amazingly right in your life for you to be genius that you are now. Some might say that you were mostly probably dropped on your head when you were a child. But nah, I know better. You just spent hours and hours in your basement alone, bundled in your many stale clothes for weeks with nobody to talk to as a child. Nobody else could handle your level of extraordinary people skills. And you put all that lone time to good use. You became the best lone prick the world would ever see. You honed your specific set of skills for the betterment of the world around you and be the kind of role model that the kids these days need. They will need to learn so much from you. You are the one thing that stands between the world and total annihilation of sarcastic douchebaggery.

If there aren't many around you who say thank you for your service. Let me do that now, thank you Sir. Thank you for all the wonderful sacrifices you have made for making another human being cry herself into sleep. You must be so proud of yourself. I am sure your parents are too. They must boast to all of their friends and neighbors about the big person their loving child has become. If only they knew your number or where you live, I'm sure they would have said this to you themselves. After all its only been a year since you gave them a visit. Another sacrifice I am sure pains you deeply.

Thank you for being the dick that you are Sir.
You make the world the shitty place it is. Take a bow.

Day 56 : 2013 - The Absent Year

Today started rather odd. On my way to office while boarding the train to work, a random girl started smiling and waving at me. I naturally thought there must be someone standing behind me and that enthusiastic wave is meant for that person. Don't you just hate it when that happens? I ignored this girl; I got into the train, took a seat, put my earplugs in and carried on with the book I was reading (Gone Girl, by G Flynn).

Soon the trained reached my station, too soon actually I was getting to the part where Amy's diary gets discovered, and I got down from the train. And there she was again, this time right in front me, looking straight at me. Surely there was no confusion anymore, I took out my earplugs and asked her if I knew her. She poked at my arm saying, I am being a typical guy, and of course I knew her. She used to living in the same hostel building as me in Pune. We used to eat dinners together in the canteen at times. We did? Did I ever eat in that canteen? I always had a serious dislike for canteen sort of food. There was no way they can afford chicken at those prices, who knows what sort of bird they we end up eating in those places. Plus the oil, there is always a layer of oil floating on top of every curry they ever make.

I just pretended that I did remember her, asked how she was, how come she is in Mumbai, does she work here now, blah blah, the usual. All the while I was trying to remember her name. Damn, I've no clue who she was and here she was talking about the biotech course that my sister (she remembered even her name!) was taking in college. Did I really talk about my sister with her? Who is this girl?

I was practically jogging by then, trying to reach my office building as soon as possible to avoid extending this conversation any longer than it needs to be. Don't get me wrong, the girl was not hideous or anything. Actually she was really pretty in a way. Small and petite, that's always cute. Remember, I am a really tall guy walking fast, so she probably had to run to keep up with me. And that she did. She talked all the way to office. We reached her office first, she demanded my number, got me to promise to keep in touch and we departed our ways. Her joking about something related to a blue moon or something, or was a glue cartoon? Not really sure, she talked way too fast to keep up with half the things she said.

Now here I am at work, done with the pending tasks from yesterday and the crucial ones for today. And all I can think about is that girl. How can I not remember someone? I am always the one who remembers faces. I recognize people I have only met once decades ago and still remember stories about them. My memory might be devastating when it comes to math and such, but with people I am really good.

So I sat there and started to recollect the hostel that she was talking about. It was a mixed hostel, had both guys and girls staying there. I remembered that distinctly. I also remember that there was a canteen near the hostel where folks from there used to go for supper. I can remember

 Only two people from that time, and one of them only because I actually knew him before 2013.

2013. That infamous black hole of my life. Damn, whenever something of this sort happens I can easily map it to this period of total chaos. There were so many things constantly happening with me and to me, I still have no idea what truly went down in those twelve month. Them shrinks call it PTSD or something. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, does that mean there was something that bad in 2013 that my brain is trying its best to completely record over. Damn, no I am curious what that might be. In our totally mediocre daily routine, I'd be really shocked to know that something this traumatic can actually happen to someone. It’s not like we are the 20-somethings fighting war killing people. Or out there getting abused on a daily basis. I sure hope no one is.

2013, draws a complete blank inside my head at times. So if you met me during this time. Or if there was something I did or say during this time. Please don't think too much of it, I was probably working on auto-pilot all that time. And if you had loaned me some money during that time. Definitely, forget about it.

Today, I plan go through my 2013 Facebook and Blogger posts. Maybe I'd find some clues to the puzzle there.