Honor can mean so many things to so many people. All I know
for sure now is, that it used to mean whole lot more earlier, than what it stands
for now. Everybody is out there playing their own version of the Game. Everyone scheming, and moving their life around to build their own little castles in the air. Most
think that what they do actually mean something. It will lead to something worthwhile for everyone.
But in the end what most of it leads to is just another sorry excuse made by a
sorry-ass prick trying to make sense of whatever shit it is that he is doing right now. There's this one line that I've heard someplace. 'If you are doing something that
calls for you having to do explainin' and shit, take my word for it, that
something is most definitely ain't good.'
There is not much hope for anyone these days to go out there
and that things will get handed over to him on a silver platter. 'Things that have to go wrong
will go wrong'. That guy Murphy knew it before any of y'all and he was a bloody
right about it. The best we can do now is just hope that we do not mess things up so
much that we screw the people around us as well in the process. I guess that is the only
honorable thing that we can manage to do now-a-days. Do our crap to
ourselves. Mess things up for ourselves. But when we go out and do things to
other's life that is when we've gone and done wrong for sure.
These things have no coming back from. You will forever be
'That Guy'. You will have that title follow wherever you go. Even if they do
not say it your face. Once they know that you have it in you to harm them in
any way. They will shut out a part of themselves for you. A part that was
always open for you to come and go as you please, is not closed shut for
business. In the beginning you will not notice it, but that silent sigh once in
a while. And do-what-you-have-to shrug when you ask them for an opinion about
something, they all add up one day like a small tornado building up to become
one that bring down skyscrapers.
Every relationship that you build in life isn't completely
incorruptible. Relationships are actually very easy to get go ripe and rot at
the drop of a hat. Everyone only likes the people who treats them well and gets
things done when they need it. Yes it is a little selfish maybe. But when you
sit and think about it, don't you think that is what everything comes down to?
Can you name anyone in your life except your parents that has ever done good
anything for you, 'just because'? Even some of the siblings and spouses do bad
shit to each other all the time. Doesn't mean that they do not love you. In a
way they do, a lot even. But then as we all know, love is corruptible as well,
a lot.
I suppose things don't really need to be this way. Things
can be a lot better between people. But people can only be as they are. And people
are just big bags of messed up emotions and priorities. We do bad things for no
reason and most just at the spur of the moment with little or no thought
process going into it. We obfuscate our existence in the process and are
forever destine ask ourselves in the dead of the night, 'What am I doing with
my life?'
Honor. Isn't what it used to be? It still can be. If not for
the fact that there aren't many honorable men/women left out there anymore.
We all bungle and botch our way through lives. We are all
destined to make a mess of things. The least of honorable thing we can do is to
not let any of reach into life of others. I guess we owe at least that much to
the ones we hold dear.
Today, try to be honorable.
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