There
is this one thing that I've often wondered about - that I do wonder a lot.
There
are times with a book or a movie or a wall in front of me; and I just stare
blankly at it with my mind somewhere seas apart.
I am
sure a lot many people do this. After all it is so comfortable there inside our
heads. The world is such a convenient place. We can be as brave as we want.
There is no one smarter than us there. We always know all the right words to
say. We won’t have to be cautious about anything here, and always will all the
battles. This world is so much prettier than the real world. Who wants this
'real' world anyway? A world filled with burden and sorrow and bitter
disappointments. Half the time our life is spent making up for lost
opportunities, and the rest is spent wallowing over how we’ll never make up for
the loss no matter how much we try.
We
all have a deep depressing beast inside all of us that we never fully
understand, let alone satisfy. This beast is always going to push and prod us and
hold something or the other over our head. This beast will always wail and shed
rivers of tears over the sadness that we've have brought upon us and the over
the people we hold dear. This beast knows just what to say and show us to bring
us over to his side. It will always have that power to tantalize us into
thinking there is no scope of victory; that there is no chance of any change in
the tide of events.
Things
were always sad and hopeless for you, and just because you decide to do something
to fight it won't mean your future would be any different.
We
in our inexplicable way always feed its hunger. This dark beast breeds off of
your hopelessness and grows bigger and fiercer by the day, till the time when
you are nothing but a hollow shell of the person you were. You lose your battle
even before the results are declared.
Our
lives are just too confusing and tiring for any of us to hope to keep hold of our
sanity for any long duration. Every once in a while you will find yourself that
you have started lashing out at the people around you. Or that you are holed up
in a room letting nobody in. Or spending more means to try and keep people away
from you; letting them see the bags under your eyes due to the lack of sleep.
You sulk around, drag your feet, and sigh your sad sighs over every blow you
take. Fate has beaten the life-force out of you. And now your existence seems
nothing but a sad process to the eventual downfall to mental annihilation.
But
you see... sometimes, you also find a little glimmer of light showing at the
end of the tunnel. This bleak damp seemingly endless tunnel of despair you’re
in has an end!
You
slowly bring yourself you move your feet towards the light. It is hard work,
your legs are heavy with the weight of all the burdens and sorrow that you have
been carrying through all this time. But still slowly but surely they keep
moving forward. Even your body knows how much you need to see that light with
your eyes. You move forward.
Slowly
your shoulder seems to grow weary, the burden seems too tough to bear anymore.
And the light is so close now; you can almost feel its warmth. You cannot stop
for a break now. You cannot trust yourself to make it this far again. You shrug
your shoulders and let the burden slowly slid off of you one by one. It feels
so much better now. You almost chuckle wondrously at how it easy it was to let
go of the weight. It seemed so fearsome before. You look back and see all of
you misfortunes lying there behind you like your many footprints in the sand of
time. So small.
Now
you are there. Right in front of the end of the tunnel. There is a door there.
It is old wood, seems sodden and damp with age. This door has not been used in
a long while. But there is warm air through its hinges, and from below it there
is sunny yellow light pushing through onto your feet. Your feet look bloody and
dirty with you waddling through your dark tunnel. But now in that light, you
like the look of it. It seems callous but firm and hard, ready to step
confidently through whatever may be in store for you beyond that bright
inviting sunshine.
Today,
you shall open that door and step into the light.
No comments:
Post a Comment