Day 52 : Grandeur

Grandeur. This is another big disease that mankind's been afflicted with. We are all very much a victim/culprit of this. We believe in our bones that we are much better than the people around us or that we are living a life that is much beneath us. We are built for greater things.

While the later part does sound pretty true. We are all meant for greater things but that does not mean that those great things will have to bow down to us and be awestruck at the sight of our infinite glory. While we sit there on our sorry butts twiddling our thumbs.

We are all bigger than they lives we live. I don't suppose anyone, no matter how rich or famous is really content with what he/she has. We all want more; mainly because we all think we all deserve it. It is also this very thinking that sows the seed of greed, despise, animosity, and petty quarrels.

I suppose the only thing that makes us a different from the kindergarten kids is that our sense of grandeur while does incite negativity in us; it can often inspire us to accomplish amazing achievements. Make ungodly inventions, do great things, amass an indecent amount of wealth. All that because we honestly believe that we deserve more.

I wish we grander still in our humanity.

Don't you think world would be a much beautiful place if there were more people thought it in their power to be gracious and generous. Love each other, respect each other's life, tend to their needs, and help the needy. I suppose our sense of alpha dog, could also very well be used sometimes to take care of the underdogs. They too deserve it.

Today, be a grander 'humane' being.

Day 51 : Pragmatism

 

Pragmatism - the international craze that is taking our specie by storm.

It is basically defined as:

PRAG·MA·TISM (noun)

“Dealing with things sensibly and realistically in a way that is based on practical rather than theoretical considerations.”

 Meaning, do not do something because it 'feels' right. Rather because you have thought about it from an objective point of view and are now confident that the outcome of it will be to your benefit, or that you desire.

Our greed feeds this notion. Greed is more a notion of the brain than heart, I think. I believe our brain would be the one to sneak off with a few bucks from the charity box at the church. Our heart would be the one that gives out half of your sandwich to the beggar standing out of your church asking for food. A pragmatic would never give him a dime or a slice of bread. Where is the benefit in that?

That is just the greed part of it. Maybe greed is a good thing. When coupled with passion and zest for success, that does lead to big deeds. When this greed seeps into the decisions that are better made from the heart, that's when the trouble really starts. You see, I honestly believe that there should've been some way to classify decisions that our heart and our brain should be each allowed to undertake. Like a restaurant waitress ad her dangerous psycho ex-husband, these two must never be allowed to hundred feats of each other.

Our heart is stupid when it comes to taking financial decisions, or those that affect our professional growth. At the same time our brain is helplessly incompetent in taking any sort of emotional decisions. They are both very strong, but better apart. The day when these two pitch in together for a deliberate that is when you have a disaster in the making.

This is where pragmatism comes into play. Most of the decisions that we end up regretting are the ones that we take too soon. And the decisions that you take given time, are the ones that seem to be the most logical ones. Sure, there are no guarantees that these are always going to be the best option for you. But then these are the ones where you had enough time to weigh whether you had any options at all.

Being practical, logical, rational, might sound all too pretty. We all want to be the person who always takes the right decisions in life, and have no regrets. However unrealistic that sounds. The only guarantee that we can have in life is that you will make decisions that would end up being wrong for you, and you will have your won fair share of regrets. But jumping into things to soon, or backing away from things too soon would only increase the probability of adding more things into the list of things you regret in life.

Today, be pragmatic. Today, weigh your options. Today let your heart and your brain think for themselves, and only for themselves.

Day 50 : You're not the Master of Your Own Destiny

We are all inherently narcissistic specie. We all have a sense of grandeur that we take for granted each day; the sense that we matter. We are all somebody and the each thing that we do or say or feel matters.

Honestly, I don't think any of it does amount to much really. Things in the world are always going to happen even if we do not go out of our ways to craft our destiny. Sure there are a bunch of image quotes out there that would preach to you otherwise. The "You are the Master of your own Destiny" bull crap. Do you actually think any of that is true?

How many of us can truly say that they have always wanted to be where they are right now in life? Did you actually hope to have this dead end job? Or live in that garbage dump of an apartment? Or have such a destructive relationship with your folks? Or such a prick of a spouse? No one plans on getting screwed by life. It just happens. Some Master of Destiny we are.

We are all just specks of dust in the grand scale of things. And by that I am in no ways proposing the theory that there is some grand plan for all that is happening around us. Really? What was the grand plan in a four year old girl getting violated by a tire wrench? Or when a douche bag wins a jackpot only to drink himself to death?

There is no grand plan to anything. You are no master of your own destiny. Things are, just because they are. You can only pretend to have any semblance of control over it. But in just a fraction of a second, your life as you know it can be turned upside down without you even realizing it.

The best that anyone can really hope for is to be able to live a decent life, be good to each other, not make many enemies, and die knowing that you've known true joy during you existence on this planet. I could add love to that equation, but I guess that is a conversation for a different time altogether. Love as its defined now, doesn't really exist. Love is just best form companionship that does not depend on some sort of greed. If it does, it isn't love.

I won't pretend to know what the whole point of our existence is. But I will surely say this much that. Our life doesn't have to mean anything. And if we keep fixating on giving it a meaning. All we would be accomplishing is watching the days go by and suddenly we are a bunch of 80 year olds with a lot of unfulfilled dreams.

Today, stop corrupting your minds with unrealistic mumbo jumbo.

Day 49 : Pain and Sorrow

I have immense respect for sorrow. It is in my opinion the only honest feeling that we as a specie are really capable of feeling. Love. Anger. Hatred. Fear. Those are all just our reaction to the things that happen to us. Sorrow, I feel is something that comes from a more deeper core of our being.

We cannot see or sense sorrow. There is surely no way to measure someone's sorrow. It is not a quantifiable thing. Very much like any other feeling I suppose. But unlike those other feelings. Sorrow is something that can hit you anytime. At any place. For any reason. For love or fear or anger. There mostly has to be something to kick it off. For the pain of this heart-wrenching sorrow - you do not need a catalyst.

You could be out there driving alone in your car. Or by grocery at your local market. Or just innocently commuting to work. Like the hundreds of people around you. But all of a sudden, out of nowhere, comes this sudden feeling somewhere deep within you. You feel like your breath is snatched out of you. This thought comes pounding at your chest like a fifty pound hammer on a anvil, you feel your heart shudder at its each jolt. The thought that you are all alone.

You may have the most adoring family, a big group of fun friends and colleagues, but when you come to think of it. You are really all alone on this planet. And no matter how many people you surround yourself with. You always feel alone. You came alone to this planet, and that is exactly how you will leave.

When this feeling comes nagging at you, you see that your hand automatically goes to your mobile phone. Wonderful thing technology is, one click and one broadcasted 'Hi' later you are suddenly in conversation with fifty different people. Lo and behold, you are not alone anymore. Do not do that.

You should take your finger off of you mobile screens. Put your cellphone back into your pocket. And let the sorrow wash over you. Let it cleanse you. Feel its steely claws squeezing your guts trying to pull you innards out. Feel yourself getting light headed and dizzy with this feeling of emptiness. But you won't, this feeling passes. So will the pain. Soon you will feel your heart beating at a normal rate. And you will be able to get on with whatever it was that you were doing.

You see, pain is not that bad a thing. Pain and sorrow are sort of the only thing that teach us more about the real us than any of those other feelings can even hope to. Bask in the sadness in all of is bleak glory. They will only help you become the stronger, more feeling being that you want to be. It is the only way you can begin to understand and empathize with what the people around you are going through. And that is in turn the only way for you to start feeling a tad less alone for a change.

Because when we are capable to feel more, we welcome more people into our lives. And then only are we capable to be truly happy.

"Pain deserves to be felt"...

Today, don't shy away from yourself. Feel it all.

Day 48 : Idiots

Humans have a common tendency to think themselves as naturally genius and smarter than the average bear. Well if that were in any manner true, world would be such a boring place to live in. After all the idiots of the planet are the ones that make it all the more interesting. Someone has to walk into glass doors for the rest of us to roll on the floor laughing.

The world is has as many idiots as intelligent people. Some would even say that there are more idiots per area than smart folks. That might even be true I don't think is any hard numbers to prove otherwise. All I know is we all have just the same capacity for foolishness or genius as any other person. And that everyone is/has/will play this part in their lives. No normal person can be expected to be smart and rational throughout their living time.

Damn. That would be a big burden. People deserve to let loose and act stupid at some point in their lives.

Which brings us to the below quote by Dwight Schrute -

I have actually seen very less of this show but it does make for a bunch of hilarious memes. This one is of the serious kind I suppose. But I nonetheless liked the rationale of it. Deciding over something the smart way would be such a big task. It does not come easily to everyone. So how about if we were to just approach a thing in our more basic of instincts, being stupid. Make a list of what ever it is that the idiot in us will want to do, and do just the opposite.

Seems easy enough. Eh.

Today, I am bored.

Day 47 : Jane Goodall

Have you recently seen something over the internet and feel all warm and giddy for the rest of your day?

I did today.

I think I was a kid that I first saw Jane Goodall. It was a BBC show that my father used to watch, it had a small segment one day about Miss Goodall's work with the chimpanzees. I remember feeling a little scared for her and mesmerized at the same time looking at this pretty lady there in the deep jungle midst over a dozen apes most of whom looked almost as big as her. I guess that's not a big feat, she herself is such a tiny person. I guess her soft eyes and easy smile would've melted anyone's heart, even primates’.

Dame Jane Goodall is an English primatologist, ethologist, anthropologist, and UN Messenger of Peace. She's the world's leading expert on chimpanzees, best known for her 55-year study of social and family interactions of wild chimpanzees in the Tanzanian jungle. That is more or less what you will get to learn about her if you'd Google her. That's what I got from her Wikipedia page, but reading just that only makes her seem a tad bookish Brit intellectual lady doesn't it?

Now after reading all of that, watch this -

All through watching that video I had a big smile on my face. That usually does come by as a product of John Oliver's quick wit. But this time Miss Goodall completely stole his limelight. I hardly even noticed him except for his mimicking a chimpanzee; it seemed queerly too natural to him. Miss Goodall had such a warmth and kindness to her. She played along with Oliver so freely like someone concedes to the childish whims of a grandkid. She was so sweet! Loved this interview so much!

I went ahead and looked at more YouTube videos of her. And at the end of each clip my adoration of her grew. I read of all the things that has been written about her, by the people who have had the chance to meet her in person. Everyone says such good things about her. She is such an amazing person. So caring and honest, I frankly feel like she is from a completely different breed of people than ours. 

I honestly didn't think anybody can be this awesome.

And I honestly think John Oliver should just quit the show now, he is never going to get to do a more heartwarming interview again in his lifetime.

Today, I am going to have a big smile all day till people start thinking I've finally gone crazy.

Day 46 : The Beast of Depression

There is this one thing that I've often wondered about  - that I do wonder a lot.

There are times with a book or a movie or a wall in front of me;  and I just stare blankly at it with my mind somewhere seas apart.

I am sure a lot many people do this. After all it is so comfortable there inside our heads. The world is such a convenient place. We can be as brave as we want. There is no one smarter than us there. We always know all the right words to say. We won’t have to be cautious about anything here, and always will all the battles. This world is so much prettier than the real world. Who wants this 'real' world anyway? A world filled with burden and sorrow and bitter disappointments. Half the time our life is spent making up for lost opportunities, and the rest is spent wallowing over how we’ll never make up for the loss no matter how much we try.

We all have a deep depressing beast inside all of us that we never fully understand, let alone satisfy. This beast is always going to push and prod us and hold something or the other over our head. This beast will always wail and shed rivers of tears over the sadness that we've have brought upon us and the over the people we hold dear. This beast knows just what to say and show us to bring us over to his side. It will always have that power to tantalize us into thinking there is no scope of victory; that there is no chance of any change in the tide of events.

Things were always sad and hopeless for you, and just because you decide to do something to fight it won't mean your future would be any different.

We in our inexplicable way always feed its hunger. This dark beast breeds off of your hopelessness and grows bigger and fiercer by the day, till the time when you are nothing but a hollow shell of the person you were. You lose your battle even before the results are declared.

Our lives are just too confusing and tiring for any of us to hope to keep hold of our sanity for any long duration. Every once in a while you will find yourself that you have started lashing out at the people around you. Or that you are holed up in a room letting nobody in. Or spending more means to try and keep people away from you; letting them see the bags under your eyes due to the lack of sleep. You sulk around, drag your feet, and sigh your sad sighs over every blow you take. Fate has beaten the life-force out of you. And now your existence seems nothing but a sad process to the eventual downfall to mental annihilation.

But you see... sometimes, you also find a little glimmer of light showing at the end of the tunnel. This bleak damp seemingly endless tunnel of despair you’re in has an end!

You slowly bring yourself you move your feet towards the light. It is hard work, your legs are heavy with the weight of all the burdens and sorrow that you have been carrying through all this time. But still slowly but surely they keep moving forward. Even your body knows how much you need to see that light with your eyes. You move forward.

Slowly your shoulder seems to grow weary, the burden seems too tough to bear anymore. And the light is so close now; you can almost feel its warmth. You cannot stop for a break now. You cannot trust yourself to make it this far again. You shrug your shoulders and let the burden slowly slid off of you one by one. It feels so much better now. You almost chuckle wondrously at how it easy it was to let go of the weight. It seemed so fearsome before. You look back and see all of you misfortunes lying there behind you like your many footprints in the sand of time. So small.

Now you are there. Right in front of the end of the tunnel. There is a door there. It is old wood, seems sodden and damp with age. This door has not been used in a long while. But there is warm air through its hinges, and from below it there is sunny yellow light pushing through onto your feet. Your feet look bloody and dirty with you waddling through your dark tunnel. But now in that light, you like the look of it. It seems callous but firm and hard, ready to step confidently through whatever may be in store for you beyond that bright inviting sunshine.

Today, you shall open that door and step into the light.