Day 13 : Why Don't You Drink Alcohol?

One more person to ask me this question, I am seriously going to start contemplating bloody murder. Freddy Kruger style.

Come on! The fact that I do not drink alcohol is not going to mean the end of the world now, is it? I don't drink and that’s that, it shouldn’t be a cause to make so much of a fuss around. Every single party I go, this question is posed to me at least half a dozen times. And at least one of these bozos would make a glass for me and try to get me to drink holding it inches from my face with the stench of it all the more nauseating for me. Not helping guys.

Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against the liquid or any of its devotees. For Pete’s sake, almost all of best mates are alcoholics to some level now. And if had any hatred towards their kind, I will be without hope of friendship anywhere. People drink in parties. People throw a party to drink. And these days, everyone drinks. So parties are just a reason for people to drink together.

And at every such party there is someone to whom me not drinking is like the biggest mysteries on this planet since JFK. I don't drink just because I don't feel like it.

Whenever I ask any one you guys why you drink, the answer ya'll give is because drinking is fun. Well here I am, having fun and not drinking. You don't see me slicing my wrist or something now do you? I mean, why else should you think I am not having a good time? Actually in some cases, I am having even a better time than half the drunks that I see in the parties. The sad mopes. The heartbreaks. The inferiority complex group. My father didn't love me group. I mean come on! Do you really think those guys are drinking because it is fun for them?!

And at any case, any person who hasn't spent time in a booze party without drinking, maybe the pregger women, will attest this. It is way too much fun to witness the sheer stupidity of you drunks when ya'll really lose it. I knew a guy who used to sing in a woman's voice when he was high. Another one who used to abuse his spouse and supervisor, with a very language so creative that it would make even George Carlin proud. There is this other guy, to put it mildly, who’s chubbier than any guy you know, he would do a mean break-dance right there no-matter-where if you put on  the "Lungi Dance" for him.

I've had been to a lot of great parties. And I have not been drunk in any of them. So I think it is safe to say I am going to survive just fine in the near future as well.

Guys, I am way too loud. Overtly frank. With no filter between mind and mouth. Way too imaginative with way too many innuendos for any given situation. Way too physical. Way too big. Imagine adding alcohol to that equation. I don't think it would be a pretty sight, not judging by the many nasty things that I've seen you drunks do around me.

Today, I think I will just be happy with another orange juice. Thank you.